The Top 25 Movies of 2009, Part 1

What?  2009?  That was like. . . . . . .give me a second. . . . . . . two years ago!

Okay, here are my reasons for this outdated review:

1) The Time Factor.  Over time and multiple viewings, movies will either lose their luster or just plain get better.  Or stay the same.  If I had written this in the first months of 2010, the list would no doubt be different.  Ten years from now, the list will differ again.  So just skip reading all of this and wait until I unveil the Top 25 Movies of 2009 List, coming in February 2021 in hologram form.  Basically, these are all movies that still hold up for me after seeing them lots of times.

2) The Pretentious Ass Factor.  These are not the BEST movies of 2009.  These are my top 25 FAVORITE movies of 2009.  I have not seen all of the movies released that year and am not likely to, so I cannot be a fair judge.  Plus, I'm not enough of a pretentious ass to declare what is BEST or not.

3) Peer Pressure is Bunk.  Everyone else is doing a Top Movie list for 2010.  I don't like to do what everyone else is doing.  Like writing a blog.  Um. . .

4) Lazy.  I have not seen all of the movies I want to see that were released in 2010.  I will eventually, but not right now.  And there are always little surprise movies that you never knew existed, which pop up when you least expect them.  I like to give them time to make themselves known to me.

So here's Part 1 of a five part list.  Why 25, you ask?  It just felt right.  I started with 10, but that left out way too many good flicks.  2009 was a great year for movies.  Then I went up to 30, but 25 sounded better to me.  Don't know why, it just did.  So here goes, in no particular order, mind you. . .


 Drag Me to Hell

"Did I get any in my mouth?"

Ah, Sam Raimi, a man responsible for many of my favorite movies over the years.  Returning to his roots after the disappointing "Spider-Man 3", the legendary creator of the "Evil Dead" trilogy brought crazy "Looney Tunes" horror back to the silver screen with ghoulish gusto.  Advertising this as "the return of true horror" may be a bit misleading, because it's not.  Raimi's style of horror is more like "Tales From the Crypt" by way of "The Three Stooges".  There are a few great jump scares (which owe a lot to the utterly fantastic sound design), but when the movie's heroine drops an anvil on her demonic attacker's head, well, there you have it, obvious really.  Alison Lohman is a hapless loan officer cursed by a pissed off gypsy woman (Lorna Raver, in the movie's most entertaining performance) to be tormented by a demon called a Lamia, and after three days she will be DRAGGED TO HELL.  Heavily inspired by 1957's "Curse of the Demon", it's got a grandly dark score by Christopher Young, giddy energy, nice gross-out sequences (PG-13 level, but gross nonetheless), and a possessed, trash-talking goat.  There are two version of the movie on DVD:  unrated and PG-13.  Surprisingly, the PG-13 edition (the theatrical version) is better.  There's only one scene that's been changed.  What was a darkly humerous joke in the theatrical version crosses the line and becomes unfunny in the unrated version, all just to add a little more blood.  It's not a big difference, but stick to the theatrical one.

Star Trek

"Is the parking brake on?"

If this list were ranked, "Star Trek" would most likely be #1.  I've seen it (and shown it to others) the most times out of all the movies on this list.  And you know what, I'm still not tired of it.  It's the most watchable movie of 2009.  It's something Trekkies and non-Trekkies alike seem to agree on.  So how do you make something that will please hardcore "Star Trek" fans and people who've never even seen a minute of the previous 1,000-plus hours of "Trek", and also make something that can satisfy those who absolutely hate the franchise?  Easy!  Make something that's a sequel, prequel, and remake all wrapped into one.  What?  How?  Why, with Science Fiction!  Time travel and an alternate universe!  Voila!  It's really not as complicated as it sounds.  And it works!  Then give the director's chair to a talented guy like J.J. Abrams, someone who can bring energy, wit, fun, and a whole new flavor to a series that needs a little jumpstart.  Also add a dash of casting brilliance, with a group of actors who honor their predecessors while making the roles completely their own.  This movie is funny, action-packed, touching (if your eyes don't mist up during the opening sequence, you may not be human), and full of mythic derring-do.  When a villain from the future travels back in time to ensure the safety of his homeworld by killing lots and lots of people, an alternate timeline is created.  Now, a group of characters searching for their destinies must unite to stop him.  There's an element of whimsy here, with Jim Kirk and the rest of the original starship Enterprise crew coming together as a family despite the fact that the path of the entire universe has changed.  It's a romantic notion, and a welcome conceit to a fictional series that means so much to so many and will continue to be meaningful for generations to come.  Welcome back, "Star Trek"!

Inglorious Basterds

"Hugo Stiglitz."

Hey, they spelled "bastards" wrong!  Nonetheless, writer/director Quentin Tarantino returns with one of his best movies yet.  After his criminally neglected "Death Proof", his half of the "Grindhouse" double feature, he's back with another multi-storyline tale of violence and pulpy fiction.  Only this time, it's a period piece!  Set during World War II (and loosely based on the 1978 film "Inglorious Bastards" starring Bo Svenson), we follow a group of U.S. soldiers sent into France to terrorize Nazis, a young woman with a secret past who's hosting a film screening for Hitler himself, and a British undercover operative sent to infiltrate said screening.  In the end, they all come together in explosive fashion.  Despite the setting, it's definitely Tarantino-flavored.  It's all there:  the in-your-face violence, the quirky humor, the nonstop film lover in-jokes, the vintage musical score (who'd have thought to put a David Bowie song in a WWII flick - and it works!), a talented cast of actors, closeups of feet, and sharp dialogue (half of it in languages other than English, this time).  Brad Pitt is perfectly cast in what is already an over-the-top role, Melanie Dreyfus (as Shosanna) holds her own with smoldering intensity, but it's Oscar-winner Christoph Waltz (as the "Jew Hunter") who steals the show.  He's my favorite villain of 2009, a highly intelligent, pompous, and utterly dangerous weasel of a character who takes over the screen whenever he appears.  The only weak link, I think, is Mike Myers.  I can't help but think of Austin Powers when he appears here, sporting a British accent and old age makeup.  It's just one scene, though.  In the end, it's a crazy, history-bending (and breaking) drama, with plenty of tense scenes, visual flair, and the soul of a cinematic rebel.  Bonjourno!

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

"My chest hairs are tingling - something's wrong!"

There were a lot of good animated movies in 2009.  For purely light, fun-filled entertainment, this is the one to beat.  Based on a best-selling children's novel, and brought to you by the folks at Sony Pictures Animation (who made "Monster House", a great Halloween film for kids and kids-at-heart), the story follows young inventor Flint Lockwood as he creates a machine that can transform water into food, which turns his sleepy hometown (the anchovy capital of the world) into a big time metropolis.  Then, something goes wrong with the machine.  Shenanigans ensue (of course).  Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller have created something that could have easily been just another disposable kids film, but is something unpretentious and so wholeheartedly FUN that it makes me smile every time.  Yes, there is a moral to this story.  But, unlike many other kids movies (ahem, Shrek, ahem) it doesn't beat these morals over your head ad nauseum.  Kids are smart.  They got your message the first 10 times you said it, guys.  The laughs here are nonstop, and there are plenty for all age groups.  And the food!  Falling from the sky!  It's a cool, original idea.  Not since "Big Night" has a movie made me this hungry!  The animation is well done, with just the right amount of "Looney Tunes" (there they are again) and a color pallette that must be seen to be believed.  Pretty lights. . .  Mark Mothersbaugh (of Devo) does a great, heroic score, and the voice talent is off the charts.  Bill Hader and Anna Faris are excellent as the two leads, but it's the supporting cast who steal the show for me.  Bruce Campbell, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Samburg, Mr T, Al Friggin' Roker, Will Forte, Benjamin Bratt (as my second favorite character, Manny the cameraman), and James Caan as Flint's dad (my favorite character).  Heart strings are tugged just right, action sequences are actiony, and vicious living gummy bears get their heads ripped off by a talking monkey.  What's not to love?

Franklyn

"These days, you can form an entire congregation simply based on washing machine instructions."

What the hell is "Franklyn"?  It's a movie that was barely released, is what.  It's an ambitious film from British director Gerald McMorrow, part sci-fi, part fairy tale, mostly character-based drama, and pulled off quite amazingly on a very low budget.  This one differs from the previous four movies on this list in one major respect - it's the only one so far that wouldn't have appeared on this list a year ago.  I love the other four movies as much today as I did when I first saw them. This one I LIKED when I first saw it, not loved.  After a few more viewings, however, it's grown on me quite a bit.  Actually, if I were to do this list as a ranking, this might even place in the top 5 of 2009.  It's a complex, yet simple tale of four people.  Jonathan Preest (Ryan Phillippe), a man with no beliefs who lives in Meanwhile City, a place (alternate universe?) where you need to be registered with a religion just to live there. He's looking for someone called the Individual, who killed a young client of his.  Emilia (my latest screen crush, Eva Green) is a troubled, suicidal performance artist secretly crying out for help.  Milo (Sam Riley) is a young man who's recently collapsed marriage plans lead to the return of a friend from the past.  And Peter (Bernard Herman) is a man looking for his lost son.  What do I mean by complex, yet simple?  The place where the story ends up is very simple and pure, but the route to get there is complex and full of psychological and visual details.  I notice something different every time I watch this movie.  It's a deceptively simple, effortless directorial debut, visually rich, with nicely done special effects, a beautiful score, well-done performances, and "plot holes", which, when you really think about them, begin to make a scary kind of sense.  It took me a while to "get" this one, but I did, and I love it!

See ya later for Part 2!