Mini Movie Reviews: Summer 2012 Edition, Vol 1

Titanic 3D

Yup, still good.  Only now it's in 3D.  The 3D quality wasn't bad, either.

So let me get this straight - at the end of the movie, Rose changes her last name to Dawson and goes into hiding to avoid both her mother and Cal.  Her grand plan to achieve invisibility involves becoming a famous movie actress and a highly-publicized female pilot.  Hide in plain sight, I guess.


Cabin in the Woods

F'n brilliant.  The less revealed about the plot, the better.  I will say that laughs and wit outweigh scares, but horror movie fans will still go away highly pleased.  It's intelligently made and inspires much post-viewing discussion and at the same time delivers the goods and pleases the kiddies.  Thank you Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon.


The Pirates!  Band of Misfits

Do you enjoy stop-motion animation, wide-eyed dreamers, witty humor and characters with very large eyeballs?  I do!  The folks at Aardman Animation ("Wallace and Gromit", " Chicken Run", "Shawn the Sheep") have delivered their best movie yet.  Featuring an eye-pleasing combination of stop-motion and CGI, a talented voice cast, lots of laughs for both the kids and the grown-up kids and some of the best quality 3D of the year, I thoroughly enjoyed this one.  Here there be fun!  Here there be quotable blurbs!


The Avengers

Thanks again, Joss Whedon.  The perfect payoff of the 5 previous Marvel movies ("Iron Man 1&2", "The Incredible Hulk", "Thor", "Captain America: The First Avenger"), this movie epitomizes the term "crowdpleaser".  It's pure joy to watch this movie play the audience.  In fact, the opening night audience I saw the movie with whooped and hollered with approval for durn near the entire end credits.  Speaking of end credits, be sure to stick around for not one, but two extra bonus scenes (one for the fans, one for the humor).  Funnier than most comedies, more exciting than most action movies, and with the best, most well-utilized ensemble cast I've seen in a long while, this is one of my favorite summer movies of all time.  The IMAX 3D presentation was of the highest quality, one of the better examples of both IMAX and 3D that I have ever seen.  Thank you, too, Arbor Lakes 16!


Dark Shadows

I love most Tim Burton movies, but this one was a mess.  In trying to be a genre-blender, it fails at each genre.  Not funny or witty enough to be an effective comedy, not scary enough to be a horror movie, and the characters aren't engaging enough to be a good, twisty soap opera.  The script is haphazard, with no direction and no good payoffs.  While the movie certainly looks good and has another great Danny Elfman score (not to mention Eva Green with blonde hair - grrrowwl), Johnny Depp seems as bored in this movie as he was in "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides".  It's an even worse film than "Alice in Wonderland" (but not as bad as Burton's "Planet of the Apes").  Oh well, I'm still looking forward to seeing his "Frankenweenie" remake.


Battleship

It's a miss!  Cliche characters, underdeveloped story, boring action sequences - hey, what did you expect from a movie adapted from a board game?

You know what I freakin' expected?  All I wanted was one of the characters (preferably the admiral played by Liam Neeson) to say "You sank my battleship!"  But, no, the filmmakers couldn't even manage that!  Fer cryin' out loud. . .

A couple of good special effects and action beats are not enough to make a good movie.


The Dictator

Sacha Baron Cohen is a funny dude, and this is a funny movie.  In the SBC rankings, it's way funnier than "Bruno" but not quite as good as "Borat".  It's weird, but "The Avengers" and "Cabin in the Woods" are the funniest movies of the year, even more hilarious than my favorite "true" comedy of the year, "21 Jump Street", which is also better than "The Dictator".  Got that?  If you're looking for an irreverent, politically incorrect good time at the movies, you could do worse.  I laughed quite a few times.


Men in Black 3

Or "Men in Black Cubed", like it shows on the poster.

After hearing all of the negative buzz on this movie, I went in with diminished expectations - and was quite surprised by how much I liked it.  Maybe that will change with further viewings, but right now I rank it as "Not Bad".  It's a large improvement over that chunk of dead weight known as "Men in Black 2", but not quite as good as the original.  The storyline had some freakin' large plot holes (join the "MIB" club), but there were lots of laughs, lots of cool Rick Baker aliens, a fun villain played by Jemaine Clement of "Flight of the Conchords", and a great doppelganger performance by Josh Brolin as the young Tommy Lee Jones.  The ending even effectively tugged on my heartstrings a little bit.

In summation - s'okay.


Here's a movie that's far more entertaining than "Battleship".  And scarier than "Dark Shadows".

The Top 25 Movies of 2010: Final Chapter

Here's the part where I tell you what all these people have been up to lately.


Centurion

After a couple of false starts (a horror/western and his short-lived attachment to direct "Drive"), director Neil Marshal has landed a couple of good gigs - after directing a pivotal episode of "Game of Thrones", he'll be taking on Count Dracula in "The Last Voyage of the Demeter", which centers on Drac's ocean voyage from Transylvania to London.  Can't wait!

Despicable Me

Both Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin are hard at work on "Despicable Me 2".  Renaud, unfortunately, took a little side trip to direct the dull and lifeless animated hit "The Lorax".  Come back to us, Chris. . .

The Fighter

After developing a movie based on one of my favorite video games, "Uncharted", David O. Russell dropped out to develop a couple of original movies called "Nailed" and "The Silver Linings Playbook".  "Nailed" is apparently about a woman with a nail in her head who's looking for love.  That old story.

Shutter Island

Martin Scorcese went on to release one of my faves of 2011 - "Hugo".  He also has a million other projects on his plate - "Silence", "The Wolf of Wall Street" and "Sinatra", a biopic about Ol' Blue Eyes himself.  Wait, that's only three.

The Good, the Bad, the Weird

Last year, Kim Jee-Woon released the disturbing and hard-hitting revenge/serial killer thriller "I Saw the Devil".  How do you follow up something like that?  By coming to America and directing an Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick called "The Last Stand".  Fingers crossed.

Monsters

As I've previously mentioned, Gareth Edwards is currently working hard on the new American reboot of "Godzilla".  There's also a "Monsters 2" in development - without Edwards' involvement.  I'm not optimistic.

The Karate Kid

Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan are set to return for the sequel, but director Harald Zwart hasn't signed up yet.  He's currently attached to a big screen version of the fantasy novel "The Mortal Instruments".

Never Let Me Go

The sequel "Let Go, Already" should be released sometime in. . . well, never.  I'm obviously kidding.  Mark Romanek is tentatively set to direct the third "DaVinci Code" movie, "The Lost Symbol".  Maybe this one will be the good one.  Or not.

Micmacs

Jean-Pierre Jeunet is making a movie called "The Young and Prodigious Spivet".  It's about a cartographer on a road trip to visit the Smithsonian.  Sounds dull, but through Jeunet's eyes it should turn out to be interesting.

Frozen

Like I said, there's a small coda to "Frozen" in Adam Green's follow up flick "Hatchet 2".  At the moment, he's producing, directing and starring in a cult TV series about young filmmakers called "Holliston".

The Book of Eli

The Hughes Brothers (Albert and Allen be their names) will be giving us "Motor City", a hard boiled revenge thriller.  Will it also star Denzel Washington?  I dunno.

Buried

Talented dude Rodrigo Cortes brings us the maybe/maybe not paranormal thriller "Red Lights", in theaters July 2012.

How to Train Your Dragon

"Lilo & Stitch" creators Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois seem to have gone their separate ways for now.  Sanders is making an animated movie called "The Croods" about a land full of evolutionary mistakes, and DeBlois is developing "How to Train Your Dragon 2".  In the meantime, there are a couple of short "Dragon" films on DVD to keep you company.  Or you can check out the "How to Train Your Dragon" live stage show, which looks damn cool.

The Social Network

Director David Fincher followed up his Facebook hit with the film adaptation of "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo".  While his involvement hasn't been announced in the "Tattoo" sequels (which are highly likely to occur), he is producing and directing the TV show "House of Cards".  I'll be checking that one out for sure.

Paranormal Activity 2

Well, "PA 3" was just released this past Halloween, and "PA 4" is due for scary season 2012.  What's Tod Williams up to, you ask (he was not involved with part 3)?  I'm not sure.  He not revealing what he's been up to lately.  Shifty bastard.

True Grit

My favorite directors, The Coen Brothers, are in production on a movie about the folk music explosion of the late '60s called "Inside Llewyn Davis".  They've also written a heist movie remake of "Gambit" and (like many other talented filmmakers lately) are developing a TV detective show called "Harve Karbo"

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Edgar Wright has reteamed with "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz" cohorts Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to make "The World's End", a movie about a bunch of guys going on a pub crawl that may somehow determine the fate of the planet.  He's also long been attached to "Ant Man", a comedic Marvel Comics superhero flick.

Let Me In

Matt Reeves has returned to direct the sequel to his first film, "Cloverfield".  Which would make it "Cloverfield 2", I guess.  And Hammer Films has continued to make scary stuff like "The Resident" and "The Woman in Black".

The Expendables

Well, "The Expendables 2" is out this summer, but Sylvester Stallone is only writing and producing this installment.  He's also starring (alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger) in the action/heist film "The Tomb", as well as "Bullet in the Head".  There are also rumors of him producing a movie about young Rambo, but I really hope that isn't true.  That last Rambo flick (um, "Rambo") was the best the series could possibly get.

Mother

Bong Joon-Ho has an interesting film in the works - it's about a train full of people who have survived an apocalyptic snow storm and their struggles to survive the environment and each other as they roll on down the tracks.  Sounds cool (heh, heh)?

Kick-Ass

Matthew Vaughn made the excellent "X-Men: First Class" directly afterwards and will be filming "First Class 2" in short order.  "Kick-Ass 2" was recently announced, but Vaughn will only be producing and co-writing it.

Black Swan

Darren Aronofsky's next film is a big budget retelling of the story of Noah's Ark.  Funny enough, it's called "Noah", and Russell Crowe will be the guy shepherding the animals onto the big boat.  I don't think there will be as much ballet dancing this time, but who can say?

Hot Tub Time Machine

Steve Pink has a couple of comedies on the way - something called "Zap Gun!" and something else called "The True Memoirs of an International Assassin", which doesn't sound like a comedy at all.

Inception

Warner Brothers is developing "Inception 2" with or without Christopher Nolan's help.  Nolan, however, has moved on.  He will be finishing up his Batman trilogy this summer with the highly anticipated "The Dark Knight Rises", and is shepherding Superman back to the big screen in next year's "Man of Steel".  He also has something to do with the Batman reboot due out in 2015.

Toy Story 3

While the "Toy Story" characters have continued onward with a couple of short films, the main story ended with this threequel.  Director Lee Unkrich is currently at work on untitled animated movie over at Pixar.


The End.  For 2010, at least.  I will be back next year with my Faves of 2011.

Oh yeah.  Here's my pick for Worst Movie of 2010.  Truth be told, there were lots of movies that I could've picked that year, I just didn't have the heart to wade through them all (I try to avoid them when I can).  Here's one I couldn't dodge.  I've already reviewed it in one of my previous Crap Lists.

Drum roll please. . .


Furry Vengeance


It's crap.

So skip that one and check out these others.

Later!