The Hangover
"You ever seen a baby do that?"
From Todd Phillips, director of the equally funny "Old School", comes this top-grossing comedy of 2009. You may have heard of it. A bachelor party in Las Vegas turns sour when four friends wake up the next morning hung over (hence the title), the groom-to-be is missing, and they have absolutely no memory of what the heck happened the previous night. It's crass, tasteless, off-the-wall, somewhat predictable, but oh so friggin' funny. Zack Galifianakis (as Alan a.k.a. "fat jesus") is the breakout castmember of the film, but kudos must be given to Ed Helms (of "The Daily Show") as toothless dentist Stu, Bradley Cooper as Phil, straightman of the group (and a total asshole whenever his wife and kid aren't around), Mike Tyson (the greatest singer of all time), the peppy Heather Graham, and way-over-the-top-but-just-right villian Ken Jeong. The first 20-30 minutes of the movie build up rather quietly, with lots of story and character setup, sporadic laughs here and there, nothing too great - but it's all a warm up. Once the titular hangover kicks in, it's one madcap event after another, and it never fails to make me laugh. "Hey! There are Skittles in there!"
Avatar
"Shut your pie-hole!"
Yeah, yeah. The biggest box office hit of all time (so far). The movie that kicked the 3-D craze into overdrive. A cinematic game-changer in the field of special effects performances. A total ripoff of "Dances With Wolves", sometimes referred to as "Dances With Smurfs". A co-worker of mine called it a ripoff of "Ferngully: The Last Rainforest". WHAT? Are you serious? As director James Cameron indicated in an interview, it's actually inspired by Frank Herbert's "Dune" novels and Edgar Rice Burroughs' "John Carter of Mars" series. In the far flung future, Jake Sully (played with "joe shmoe" charm by Sam Worthington) is a paraplegic marine on his way to the hostile planet of Pandora. Seems there's a mineral on this world called "unobtanium" (a real scientific term) that's worth big bucks to a seedy corporate honcho played by Giovanni Ribisi (boo) and hired millitary muscle Colonel Quaritch (hiss), played by Stephen Lang. Unfortunately, the blue-skinned native people, the Na'Vi, live right on top of it. Now Jake must infiltrate them via the Avatar program (remote-controlled Na'Vi bodies) to get them to move - if only the Na'Vi princess, Neytiri (Zoe Saldana of "Star Trek", in a great "invisible" performance) wasn't so dang cute. It's the classic story of a man going native and choosing to fight his own people. Beautiful special effects, some intriguing ideas, kickass action sequences, amazing utilization of 3-D, Sigourney Weaver (still a legend), and a welcome aura of "working class sci-fi" (a James Cameron specialty - this movie sometimes feels like a collection of "James Cameron's Greatest Hits", a highlight reel of scenes from past films - not a bad thing). Overrated? It's up to you. I like it.
A Serious Man
"Even I don't understand the dead cat."
Ah, the Coen brothers. These days there's a lot of focus on their new film "True Grit", but in 2009 they gave the world "A Serious Man", one of my favorite films in the Coen canon. Set in Minnesota in the 1960's (and filmed here as well), "A Serious Man" tells the tale of Larry Gopnik, a Jewish physics professor whose life is quickly starting to unravel. His wife, totally out of the blue, wants a traditional Jewish divorce so she can marry her lover ("Sy Ableman?"), his pothead son is about to be Barmitzvah'd, his live-in brother Arthur is going crazy, a student is trying to bribe him for a good grade, and the three Rabbis he's been trying to visit for advice aren't helping at all. This movie is shot through and through with Jewish fatalism and the belief that living life with humble dignity is enough to carry you through it all. The entire cast is perfect, but Michael Stuhlbarg must be singled out as the beleaguered Larry Gopnik. I'd never heard of this guy before (or since), but he's spot-on as a guy who has no idea how or why these bad things are happening to him or how to fix them, but soldiers on anyway because, well, there's nothing he can do but soldier on. Carter Burwell contributes yet another excellent score for the Coens, this one with a Jewish tinge. But it's the bros, Joel and Ethan, who have everything under control. From the spooky, ghost story-like opening scene, to the hilarious parable about the "goy's teeth", to the fatalistic/enigmatic/karmic final shot, it's easily one of their best films yet. Supposedly, a lot of this movie is autobiographical. Which parts? Dunno (shrugs). Don't care, it's one of my favorites, no matter what. Funny, dark, shocking, offbeat, and oddly real. Check it out.
UP
"Put him in the Cone of Shame."
Like the Coen brothers, the geniuses at Pixar Studios can always be counted upon to deliver great stuff. This is one of their best, right up there with "The Incredibles", "Monsters, Inc", "Toy Story 3", and "Wall-E". Meet 78 year-old Carl Fredericksen (voiced by Ed Asner), who, in an attempt to fulfill he and his late wife's dream of visiting South America, ties thousands of balloons to his house in order to float there like a domestic dirigible. Along the way, he's joined by chubby Wilderness Explorer (Boy Scout) Russell, a flightless giant bird named Kevin, a dog named Dug (who talks via a high-tech collar), and tangles with famous explorer Charles Muntz (Carl's hero, voiced by Christopher Plummer), who's gone obsessively nuts and will stop at nothing to fulfill his goals. The Pixar people are masters of great storytelling and fully-realized, memorable characters, and this is a prime example of that. Directors Bob Peterson and Pete Docter (another Minnesotan) give us something hilariously funny, exciting, touching (the opening 10 minutes of this movie will produce tears) and largely original, from the basic concept (the floating house) to the fact that the main character of the story is a senior citizen (incredibly rare these days) to the setting (South American plateaus) to the moving, award-winning score by Michael Giacchino ("Star Trek", "Lost"), it's pure heaven. And I've gotta give a shout out to Russell (newcomer Jordan Nagal), one of my favorite Pixar characters of all time. He cracks me up.
District 9
"Don't point your fucking tentacles at me!"
Even though I haven't seen "District 1-8", I still enjoyed this one. Ha, ha, just kidding. This is not a sequel or anything, it's original. From South African director Neil Blomkamp (and producer Peter Jackson) comes a new science fiction thriller that does what the best science fiction thrillers do best - it's about ideas. Over twenty years ago, an alien spaceship appeared in the skies above Johannesburg, South Africa. It was adrift, with most of its alien crew killed off by - plague? - who knows, but all we do know is that last living members of the crew, alien "worker bees", needed our help, so we shuttled them down and put them in a refugee camp that would later come to be known as District 9. Today, people are tired of their alien neighbors (referred to as "prawns"), and want them kept away from human civilization, so MNU (Multi-National United), the corporation in charge of District 9, sends young go-getter Wikus Van De Merwe to evict the aliens and send them to District 10, a new camp that doesn't resemble a concentration camp at all (sarcasm). While doing so, Wikus accidentally sprays himself with a toxic chemical that begins to transform him into - bum buh BAHHHH - one of the prawns. Soon he's on the run from police, MNU, Nigerian gangs, and even his in-laws. Sharlto Copley gives a breakthrough performance as Wikus. It's a very human, very understandable performance (even if unlikable), sort of a sci-fi Scrooge, and you're not sure exactly what he's going to do for most of the movie, which creates lots of tension. The movie starts off in a sort of documentary style, but switches to a traditional movie style as the film goes on, which is unique. The realization and performances of the prawns are incredible, some of the best effects work of the year (by "Lord of the Rings" genius Richard Taylor), with the alien Christopher Johnson (his human name) being one of the sole sympathetic characters in the film, a wonderfully realized character. The tone of the movie is harsh and raw and very violent - there's an action-packed robot-centric climax that puts anything in the "Transformers" movies to shame. Even the musical score has a kind of raw beauty to it. And since the movie is an allegory of the situation in South Africa, with mostly South African talent both behind and in front of the camera, it's no wonder. "District 9" is a raw, uncut diamond in the rough.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
CRAP FILES
Contrary to popular belief, I don't blindly love every movie that I come across. I just prefer to focus on the "Good Ones" and forget the "Bad Ones". Nevertheless, I've decided to start a new semi-regular section dedicated to highlighting the ones that have left me feeling like I've wasted my time, you know, just to mix things up a bit. They will be shorter reviews, because I don't want to think about these movies for too long - they make my brain hurt.
TAKERS (2010)
Wanna see a really great heist movie? Then please move along. Actually, if you've never seen a good heist movie in your life, you will really, really like this. It sure looks and sounds great (gee, just like a big budget, action-packed hip hop video), it has some pretty good performances in it (even from walking cardboard cutouts Paul Walker and Hayden Christensen). Heck, even T.I. ain't bad. Unfortunately it's filled with horrible dialogue (tries too hard to be Quentin Tarantino), more heist movie cliches than a "Heist Movie Cliche Convention", annoyingly distracting subplots and, worst of all, it's just plain devoid of any depth or heart whatsoever. It's a great big Poser, soulless filmmaking from the Hollywood cookie cutter machine.
Wow, do I sound like an asshole movie critic or what? Heh, heh. . .
Basically, it bored me. I seem to have a good nose for movies that are made without any passion or love for the material at hand, movies that are produced merely to fill a quota. This feels like one of them. There are worse movies you can see out there, but it's still pretty bland.
Here's a much better heist movie also starring Paul Walker. Well, okay, it doesn't come out until April and I haven't seen it yet, but the word on the street for this one is really, really good (it's been screening all over the country, recently). I must admit, this series of movies is a total guilty pleasure for me. Screw that, I don't feel guilty at all. It's the "hip" heist movie that I want to see, and it's part five of one of the best "car porn" movie sagas of all time . . .
FURRY VENGEANCE (2010)
"But it's for kids!" I have no kids of my own, but I still think that's a lame excuse. Besides, I know of at least one kid who was bored stiff by this movie. So there's that.
Let it be known that I will give any movie a chance to surprise me. A movie where Brendan Fraser plays an unscrupulous land developer who gets his butt kicked, Home Alone-style, by a bunch of pissed off woodland critters? Sign me up!
Don't sign up. Even more soulless and empty than "Takers" (at least that one looked good), it's also just plain tired and played out. It's dumb fun, minus the fun. Cue the poop jokes, Mr. Annoying Trailer Voice. . .
As a Special Crap Bonus, here is the end credit sequence, featuring a truly awful cover of Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Brain".
The horror. . .
If there is ever a "Furry Vengeance 2", I want to see Brendan Fraser go up against the killer mutant bear from the 1979 "be-kind-to-Mother-Nature-or-she-will-literally-bite-you-in-the-ass" horror movie "Prophecy".
Look, there's Brendan Fraser right now! Go get him, boy!
TAKERS (2010)
Wanna see a really great heist movie? Then please move along. Actually, if you've never seen a good heist movie in your life, you will really, really like this. It sure looks and sounds great (gee, just like a big budget, action-packed hip hop video), it has some pretty good performances in it (even from walking cardboard cutouts Paul Walker and Hayden Christensen). Heck, even T.I. ain't bad. Unfortunately it's filled with horrible dialogue (tries too hard to be Quentin Tarantino), more heist movie cliches than a "Heist Movie Cliche Convention", annoyingly distracting subplots and, worst of all, it's just plain devoid of any depth or heart whatsoever. It's a great big Poser, soulless filmmaking from the Hollywood cookie cutter machine.
Wow, do I sound like an asshole movie critic or what? Heh, heh. . .
Basically, it bored me. I seem to have a good nose for movies that are made without any passion or love for the material at hand, movies that are produced merely to fill a quota. This feels like one of them. There are worse movies you can see out there, but it's still pretty bland.
Here's a much better heist movie also starring Paul Walker. Well, okay, it doesn't come out until April and I haven't seen it yet, but the word on the street for this one is really, really good (it's been screening all over the country, recently). I must admit, this series of movies is a total guilty pleasure for me. Screw that, I don't feel guilty at all. It's the "hip" heist movie that I want to see, and it's part five of one of the best "car porn" movie sagas of all time . . .
FURRY VENGEANCE (2010)
"But it's for kids!" I have no kids of my own, but I still think that's a lame excuse. Besides, I know of at least one kid who was bored stiff by this movie. So there's that.
Let it be known that I will give any movie a chance to surprise me. A movie where Brendan Fraser plays an unscrupulous land developer who gets his butt kicked, Home Alone-style, by a bunch of pissed off woodland critters? Sign me up!
Don't sign up. Even more soulless and empty than "Takers" (at least that one looked good), it's also just plain tired and played out. It's dumb fun, minus the fun. Cue the poop jokes, Mr. Annoying Trailer Voice. . .
As a Special Crap Bonus, here is the end credit sequence, featuring a truly awful cover of Cypress Hill's "Insane in the Brain".
The horror. . .
If there is ever a "Furry Vengeance 2", I want to see Brendan Fraser go up against the killer mutant bear from the 1979 "be-kind-to-Mother-Nature-or-she-will-literally-bite-you-in-the-ass" horror movie "Prophecy".
Look, there's Brendan Fraser right now! Go get him, boy!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wolfhound (2006)
"What the devil?"
My favorite character in this movie is a bat named Ragged Wing. Not Broken Wing, as I incorrectly remembered when initially putting this review together.
"Wolfhound" (the onscreen title is "Wolfhound: From the Tribe of Grey Dogs") is a Russian sword-and-sorcery adventure flick based on a popular 1995 novel written by Mariya Semyonova. Popular in Russia, at least. Apparently the movie did well enough at the Russian box office, 'cuz a prequel TV series called "Young Wolfhound" soon followed and a sequel movie is rumored to be in the works. Here in America, it went straight to DVD. There is a series of "Wolfhound" novels too, none of which have been translated into English. Just wait, though - Broken Wing may yet win the hearts and minds of the American people. Um, I mean Ragged Wing. Here is a Ragged Wing-less American trailer. . .
This movie is highly derivative of many Western fantasy tales, but cribs most of its elements from "Conan the Barbarian" and "Lord of the Rings". The opening scene of the movie is a direct ripoff of the opening to "Conan the Barbarian", with young Wolfhound's family getting slaughtered by a small army of marauders. These marauders are led by two evil druids, Zhadoba (who wears a skull mask which makes him look like that evil general guy in "Willow", and is not quite human) and the Man-Eater (has a beard). Turns out these guys serve Morana, an evil goddess imprisoned in something called the "Celestial Gates". Their ultimate goal is to free her and rule the world (at her sufferance, of course). In the meantime they slaughter an entire village because they've heard a rumor that the local blacksmith has made a blade that can kill Zhadoba. This blacksmith turns out to be Wolfie's dad. After claiming the blade, the druids send little Wolfster off to be a slave in Man-Eater's mines.
Cut to about 15 years later. Wolfhound is now free from the mines, has some nice facials scars, a sharp sword, a flightless bat friend (Ragged Wing - they were prison buddies), and a bag of magic dust (not a drug metaphor, it's actually magic). There is a great flashback montage later on in which we see his time inside and his escape from the mines. Patience, friends. Anyway, he's all grown up now and ready to rumble. He infiltrates Man-Eater's stronghold, kills the guy, sets the place on fire with his flammable pixie dust, and rescues a petite redhead (who screams annoyingly throughout the scene) as well as a dirt-encrusted mystic old guy, all before breakfast.
Wolfer and his pals fall in with a caravan which is shortly attacked by Zhadoba and his crew. The Wolf cuts off Zhadoba's arm and takes back his father's sword. Why Zhadoba would keep the sword around, I don't know. Maybe he enjoys tempting fate. "See this sword in my hand? It's the only thing that can kill me! Here, try and grab it - ha! Too slow! Nah, nah, ne-nah, nah. . ."
The Wolf Crew eventually reaches the kingdom of Galirad, which has been cursed by Zhadoba with eternal cloudiness, chilly temperatures, and mud. He needs the blood of the princess of Galirad, Elen, to free his master Morana. It turns out that Man-Eater and Zhadoba had developed a feud somewhere down the line, and that squabbling with each other has kept the city of Galirad in a relative state of peace. Then some dickhead came along and killed Man-Eater, giving Z free reign to wreak havoc. D'oh! (Wolfhound slaps his forehead in frustration)
So Wolfenstein rescues a young slave boy with a fixation on religious texts. Petite redhead, old guy, and slave boy then leave Galirad to go on a pilgrimmage to the Celestial Gates. Wolf-O next saves the incredibly cute Princess Elen from assassination and becomes her bodyguard. Just in time, too, because the king has just offered his daughter's hand to Vinitar, son of the Man-Eater, who's not a bad guy like his pops and who will help make the kingdom secure against Zhadoba. One problem - they have to reach him first. Thus begins a quest through strange lands and nasty dangers, facing off against redneck swamp people, killer fog spirits, inept assassins, and traitorious traitors.
I like this movie. There's much that is derivative, the special effects can be cheesy at times, and there are some directing missteps along the way, but it has charm. It's one of those movies that grew on me as it went along, and by the end of the movie I was eating it up. It's earnestly played, with solid performances, especially by the lead actors. As Wolfhound, Russian TV star Aleksandr Bukharov makes a convincing hero, playing up the subtleties of the character rather than the larger-than-life comic book elements. There are many scenes of him just looking, and you can see the wheels turning behind his eyes. He's a wary barbarian. Oksana Akinshina (famous in Russia, and briefly seen in "The Bourne Supremacy"), as Elen, is great as well. Besides being extremely cute (did I mention that?) she brings a gravitas and thoughtfulness to her role that matches Wolfee's demeanor quite well. You'd believe they'd fall for each other for real, and not just because they're the two most good-looking characters in the cast (which is usually the only reason in most movies).
But forget everyone else, it's Broken. . . I mean Ragged Wing who steals the show. Brought to life with a combination of real bats and convincing CGI work, RW seriously kicks ass. Granted, he doesn't do much for most of the movie. His wing is ripped for the first 40 minutes or so, and all he can do is crawl around and flap his wings in Wolfman's face whenever he wants attention. Then his wing gets healed - and for the next hour and twenty minutes he flies around a little bit, reacts comically to events around him, and makes cute high-pitched cheeping noises when agitated. But in the final half hour, hoo boy, it's time to unleash the beast! He finally participates in the action, and each time he does, I can't help but giggle with girlish glee. I don't know why, but the little flying rodent just makes me happy. He's not an annoying comic relief character, he's actually used quite sparingly. Maybe that's the secret to his succcess? Also, he totally owns the final scene in the movie. He needs to star in his own spinoff movie, right now. Here's the entire movie condensed into 8 minutes. You also get to hear some of the actual music from the movie. . .
It's lots of fun, mostly because of Br - Ragged Wing, but he's far from the only reason. There's plenty of bloody good action and some good special effects, especially in the climactic scene, where Wolfdog fights off a swirling vortex of rocks and magma with a 10-story-tall lightsaber. No, really. Director Nikolay Lebedev is clearly new to the fantasy genre (as is all of mother Russia), but does a decent job attempting to break new cinematic ground for his people. Despite all the derivativeness, there are touches of Russian culture sprinkled throughout the film which give it a unique flavor. This is especially true of the musical score, which is excellent. Here's a Russian trailer. . .
In the end, you don't have to be a sword-and-sorcery movie junkie (like me) to appreciate this one, but it helps. It may not be groundbreaking for us dopey Americans, but it's a nice timewaster which has grown on me quite a bit (like Athlete's Foot). I recommend it. And not just for the bat. . .
My favorite character in this movie is a bat named Ragged Wing. Not Broken Wing, as I incorrectly remembered when initially putting this review together.
"Wolfhound" (the onscreen title is "Wolfhound: From the Tribe of Grey Dogs") is a Russian sword-and-sorcery adventure flick based on a popular 1995 novel written by Mariya Semyonova. Popular in Russia, at least. Apparently the movie did well enough at the Russian box office, 'cuz a prequel TV series called "Young Wolfhound" soon followed and a sequel movie is rumored to be in the works. Here in America, it went straight to DVD. There is a series of "Wolfhound" novels too, none of which have been translated into English. Just wait, though - Broken Wing may yet win the hearts and minds of the American people. Um, I mean Ragged Wing. Here is a Ragged Wing-less American trailer. . .
This movie is highly derivative of many Western fantasy tales, but cribs most of its elements from "Conan the Barbarian" and "Lord of the Rings". The opening scene of the movie is a direct ripoff of the opening to "Conan the Barbarian", with young Wolfhound's family getting slaughtered by a small army of marauders. These marauders are led by two evil druids, Zhadoba (who wears a skull mask which makes him look like that evil general guy in "Willow", and is not quite human) and the Man-Eater (has a beard). Turns out these guys serve Morana, an evil goddess imprisoned in something called the "Celestial Gates". Their ultimate goal is to free her and rule the world (at her sufferance, of course). In the meantime they slaughter an entire village because they've heard a rumor that the local blacksmith has made a blade that can kill Zhadoba. This blacksmith turns out to be Wolfie's dad. After claiming the blade, the druids send little Wolfster off to be a slave in Man-Eater's mines.
Cut to about 15 years later. Wolfhound is now free from the mines, has some nice facials scars, a sharp sword, a flightless bat friend (Ragged Wing - they were prison buddies), and a bag of magic dust (not a drug metaphor, it's actually magic). There is a great flashback montage later on in which we see his time inside and his escape from the mines. Patience, friends. Anyway, he's all grown up now and ready to rumble. He infiltrates Man-Eater's stronghold, kills the guy, sets the place on fire with his flammable pixie dust, and rescues a petite redhead (who screams annoyingly throughout the scene) as well as a dirt-encrusted mystic old guy, all before breakfast.
Wolfer and his pals fall in with a caravan which is shortly attacked by Zhadoba and his crew. The Wolf cuts off Zhadoba's arm and takes back his father's sword. Why Zhadoba would keep the sword around, I don't know. Maybe he enjoys tempting fate. "See this sword in my hand? It's the only thing that can kill me! Here, try and grab it - ha! Too slow! Nah, nah, ne-nah, nah. . ."
The Wolf Crew eventually reaches the kingdom of Galirad, which has been cursed by Zhadoba with eternal cloudiness, chilly temperatures, and mud. He needs the blood of the princess of Galirad, Elen, to free his master Morana. It turns out that Man-Eater and Zhadoba had developed a feud somewhere down the line, and that squabbling with each other has kept the city of Galirad in a relative state of peace. Then some dickhead came along and killed Man-Eater, giving Z free reign to wreak havoc. D'oh! (Wolfhound slaps his forehead in frustration)
So Wolfenstein rescues a young slave boy with a fixation on religious texts. Petite redhead, old guy, and slave boy then leave Galirad to go on a pilgrimmage to the Celestial Gates. Wolf-O next saves the incredibly cute Princess Elen from assassination and becomes her bodyguard. Just in time, too, because the king has just offered his daughter's hand to Vinitar, son of the Man-Eater, who's not a bad guy like his pops and who will help make the kingdom secure against Zhadoba. One problem - they have to reach him first. Thus begins a quest through strange lands and nasty dangers, facing off against redneck swamp people, killer fog spirits, inept assassins, and traitorious traitors.
I like this movie. There's much that is derivative, the special effects can be cheesy at times, and there are some directing missteps along the way, but it has charm. It's one of those movies that grew on me as it went along, and by the end of the movie I was eating it up. It's earnestly played, with solid performances, especially by the lead actors. As Wolfhound, Russian TV star Aleksandr Bukharov makes a convincing hero, playing up the subtleties of the character rather than the larger-than-life comic book elements. There are many scenes of him just looking, and you can see the wheels turning behind his eyes. He's a wary barbarian. Oksana Akinshina (famous in Russia, and briefly seen in "The Bourne Supremacy"), as Elen, is great as well. Besides being extremely cute (did I mention that?) she brings a gravitas and thoughtfulness to her role that matches Wolfee's demeanor quite well. You'd believe they'd fall for each other for real, and not just because they're the two most good-looking characters in the cast (which is usually the only reason in most movies).
But forget everyone else, it's Broken. . . I mean Ragged Wing who steals the show. Brought to life with a combination of real bats and convincing CGI work, RW seriously kicks ass. Granted, he doesn't do much for most of the movie. His wing is ripped for the first 40 minutes or so, and all he can do is crawl around and flap his wings in Wolfman's face whenever he wants attention. Then his wing gets healed - and for the next hour and twenty minutes he flies around a little bit, reacts comically to events around him, and makes cute high-pitched cheeping noises when agitated. But in the final half hour, hoo boy, it's time to unleash the beast! He finally participates in the action, and each time he does, I can't help but giggle with girlish glee. I don't know why, but the little flying rodent just makes me happy. He's not an annoying comic relief character, he's actually used quite sparingly. Maybe that's the secret to his succcess? Also, he totally owns the final scene in the movie. He needs to star in his own spinoff movie, right now. Here's the entire movie condensed into 8 minutes. You also get to hear some of the actual music from the movie. . .
It's lots of fun, mostly because of Br - Ragged Wing, but he's far from the only reason. There's plenty of bloody good action and some good special effects, especially in the climactic scene, where Wolfdog fights off a swirling vortex of rocks and magma with a 10-story-tall lightsaber. No, really. Director Nikolay Lebedev is clearly new to the fantasy genre (as is all of mother Russia), but does a decent job attempting to break new cinematic ground for his people. Despite all the derivativeness, there are touches of Russian culture sprinkled throughout the film which give it a unique flavor. This is especially true of the musical score, which is excellent. Here's a Russian trailer. . .
In the end, you don't have to be a sword-and-sorcery movie junkie (like me) to appreciate this one, but it helps. It may not be groundbreaking for us dopey Americans, but it's a nice timewaster which has grown on me quite a bit (like Athlete's Foot). I recommend it. And not just for the bat. . .
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Top 25 Movies of 2009, Part 2
Hello.
For those who are wondering what movies might appear on my Top 25 of 2010 list, heres a sample of some candidates:
True Grit
Toy Story 3
Centurion
Inception
The Social Network
Frozen
The Expendables
Never Let Me Go
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
. . . among others. Actually, there might not be a Top 25. Maybe just a Top 10. It wasn't as good a year for movies as 2009 was. Anyway, on with the list -
Red Cliff
"My Lord, these peasants are dragging us down."
One of my favorite directors of all time made a great comeback in 2009. He's John Woo, and the film is "Red Cliff". He started out in Hong Kong, creating such groundbreaking and influential action operas as "A Better Tomorrow", "Once a Thief", "Bullet in the Head", "Hard Boiled", and my favorite, "The Killer". Then he came to America. The stuff he made here was kind of fun, but nowhere near the stature of his previous work. Stuff like "Broken Arrow", "Face/Off", "Mission: Impossible 2", "Windtalkers". So he went back home to make more movies and this is his first offering. Set in China roundabout 200 (A.D.), it's a sprawling epic detailing the exploits of two smaller kingdoms who must unite to defend themselves against the invading Imperial army, culminating in a final fight at the titular location, Red Cliff. It was a real historical battle, and over the past few hundred years the stories of this period of history (known as the "Three Kingdoms") has become legendary in China, thanks to countless works of literature and, in the past 100 years, motion pictures. In fact, there were five other big budget Three Kingdoms-set movies released within a year of "Red Cliff". It's a great movie, full of massive, detailed battles scenes (my favorite is the naval assault, with hundreds of ships set on fire), well-drawn characters full of depth and humanity (with some mythic embellishment for good measure), beautiful cinematography, nice music, and many fine performances. There are two versions of this movie out there, the American version and the International version. International is how it was meant to be seen - "Red Cliff" was originally released worldwide in two parts, with a total running time of about five hours. The American version chops the entire movie down to a two-and-a-half hour running time, leaving in most of the action scenes but gutting the movie of it's heart. Travesty! Duh, go International (Part 1 and Part 2) or don't go at all.
Coraline
"Maybe they got bored with you and moved to France."
Based on the book by Minnesota resident Neil Gaiman (one of my favorite authors), and directed by Henry Selick ("The Nightmare Before Christmas"), this is one of two stop-motion animated flicks that made my list this year, which is pretty remarkable. I've loved stop motion animation ever since I laid eyes on 1933's "King Kong" as well as classic Ray Harryhausen movies like "The 7th Voyage of Sinbad" and "Jason and the Arognauts". I'd even made some stop-motion animated short films when I was a kid. After a young girl (Coraline, not Caroline) and her parents relocate to a new home, she finds a tiny secret door which leads her into a parallel world. In this world are fun, idealized versions of her parents (except for their creepy button eyes) who want her to stay with them, but things are obviously not what they seem and danger soon follows. This movie is unapologetically weird and full of creative invention. It's Selick's best movie (he also made "James and the Giant Peach), the animation is wonderful (as was the 3D presentation in theaters), and it might scare the crap out of little kids. Or not, how should I know, but it does have an unsettling quality about it that I can't quite pin down, which I love. The voice actors do a fine job, especially Teri Hatcher as both of Coraline's mothers, and the great Keith David, as a mysterious black cat who guides Coraline through the "other side". Strange, understated, and satisfying, it's good stuff.
The Hurt Locker
"We got goats, guys. Heads up! Goats!"
Here it is, the Oscar-winningest movie of 2009. And, no, it's not a war movie. As the quote which opens the movie quite clearly implies, this is a movie about addiction. Addiction to war. Or, more specifically, addiction to high tension situations, which wartime (especially the Iraq war, during which this movie is set) provides abundant access to. The addict in question is Sergeant James, played by Jeremy Renner. After the death of their commanding officer, James is assigned leadership of a bomb disposal unit comprised of Sgt. Sanborn (Anthony Mackey) and guilt-ridden Specialist Eldridge (Brian Geraghty). The storyline unfolds in an episodic way, moving from one incident to another. Along the way, the team must learn to deal with James and his seemingly reckless ways, while at the same time James forms a friendship with an Iraqi boy, a friendship that may or may not bring him face to face with his true nature. Nearly every scene in this movie is a small masterpiece of tense filmmaking. Kathryn Bigelow ("Near Dark", "Point Break", "Strange Days") does a masterful job here, utilizing the cinema verite style made popular by "24" and the "Bourne" movies to nice effect (usually this style - often dubbed "shaky cam" - annoys me, but not here). The performances are great all across the board, but the main kudos have to go to the three leads. There are also lots of cameos by more well-known faces, like Ralph Fiennes, Guy Pearce, David Morse, and Evangeline Lilly from "Lost", but they only add to film, not detract from it. Damn fine movie!
Zombieland
"Thank God for rednecks!"
What would one of my Best Of movie lists be without a zombie movie? Incomplete, that's what! Here's one that came as a total surprise when I first saw it. Horror comedies are incredibly hard to get right, but this movie does it just fine. While not as classic as other zombedies such as "Dead Alive" or "Shaun of the Dead", it still ranks pretty dang high. After the inevitible zombie apocalypse, four survivors must band together to, um, survive. And go to an amusement park. Named after their hometowns, there's scaredy cat shut-in Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg of "The Social Network"), zombie killin' good ol' boy Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), and con-artist sisters Wichita and Little Rock (Emma Stone from "Easy A" and Abigail Breslin of "Little Miss Sunshine"). Despite the well done zombie mayhem and the rock and roll style of the film (check out those opening credits!), it's the four main characters on whom the entire story rises or falls. It rises. The interaction between the characters is perfectly played, leading to most of the big laughs, while director Ruben Fleischer's well-timed visual gags provide the rest. It's not all yuks and yucks, however. Choice moments of real, heartfelt drama add just the perfect touches of realism to the proceedings, and then skedaddle in order to make way for more laughs. And, yes, there's a really funny cameo appearance by a famous celebrity. Bill Murray. Spoiler alert. So grab a beer, sit back, and enjoy the ride.
Watchmen
"Funny story. Sounds unbelievable. Probably true."
I still can't believe this movie got made. Based on the legendary (not to mention controversial) graphic novel (in Nerd Voice: "It's not a comic book!") by Alan Lee and Dave Gibbons, "Watchmen" is set in an alternate-reality 1985 where the government has outlawed all superhero activity. With Russia and America on the brink of nuclear war, members of the disbanded superhero team the Watchmen are being murdered one by one and it's up the surviving members to solve the mystery before it's too late. So why do I have a hard time believing this movie exists? Because this movie is for adults, dissecting American culture via superhero myths with surgical precision, wit, and and brutal, brutal honesty. It's a very dark satire. These superheroes are not idealized, they are flawed people with superpowers dealing with some very real problems. Cancer, rape, psychosis, disconnection, impotence. And yet, the movie is technically brilliant, good looking with perfect effects work and brilliant sound, featuring plenty of great music from the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Director Zack Snyder ("300") is obviously good at the sights and sounds and, thanks to the well written source material (it's the first graphic novel to win major literary awards, much to the chagrin of the literary elite), it's got substance and heart. He does a bang-up job of adapting the comic, with the exception of the ending, which was changed a bit. But I don't mind, I kind of like what he did with it. There are three different versions of this movie - the Theatrical version (excellent), the Director's Cut (15 minutes longer and even better) and the Ultimate Cut (Director's Cut plus the integration into the movie of the animated "Tales of the Black Freighter" short film, which is a comic book being read by a character within the movie, and it parallels the movie's plot quite nicely). The Ultimate Cut is a nice idea, making it a more accurate adaptation of the source, but it just doesn't work as well in movie form. I say go for the Director's Cut. But Theatrical is good as well. This movie isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it's worth a look if you love smart satire.
See ya next time! Part 3 awaits. . .
For those who are wondering what movies might appear on my Top 25 of 2010 list, heres a sample of some candidates:
True Grit
Toy Story 3
Centurion
Inception
The Social Network
Frozen
The Expendables
Never Let Me Go
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
. . . among others. Actually, there might not be a Top 25. Maybe just a Top 10. It wasn't as good a year for movies as 2009 was. Anyway, on with the list -
Red Cliff
"My Lord, these peasants are dragging us down."
One of my favorite directors of all time made a great comeback in 2009. He's John Woo, and the film is "Red Cliff". He started out in Hong Kong, creating such groundbreaking and influential action operas as "A Better Tomorrow", "Once a Thief", "Bullet in the Head", "Hard Boiled", and my favorite, "The Killer". Then he came to America. The stuff he made here was kind of fun, but nowhere near the stature of his previous work. Stuff like "Broken Arrow", "Face/Off", "Mission: Impossible 2", "Windtalkers". So he went back home to make more movies and this is his first offering. Set in China roundabout 200 (A.D.), it's a sprawling epic detailing the exploits of two smaller kingdoms who must unite to defend themselves against the invading Imperial army, culminating in a final fight at the titular location, Red Cliff. It was a real historical battle, and over the past few hundred years the stories of this period of history (known as the "Three Kingdoms") has become legendary in China, thanks to countless works of literature and, in the past 100 years, motion pictures. In fact, there were five other big budget Three Kingdoms-set movies released within a year of "Red Cliff". It's a great movie, full of massive, detailed battles scenes (my favorite is the naval assault, with hundreds of ships set on fire), well-drawn characters full of depth and humanity (with some mythic embellishment for good measure), beautiful cinematography, nice music, and many fine performances. There are two versions of this movie out there, the American version and the International version. International is how it was meant to be seen - "Red Cliff" was originally released worldwide in two parts, with a total running time of about five hours. The American version chops the entire movie down to a two-and-a-half hour running time, leaving in most of the action scenes but gutting the movie of it's heart. Travesty! Duh, go International (Part 1 and Part 2) or don't go at all.
Coraline
"Maybe they got bored with you and moved to France."
Based on the book by Minnesota resident Neil Gaiman (one of my favorite authors), and directed by Henry Selick ("The Nightmare Before Christmas"), this is one of two stop-motion animated flicks that made my list this year, which is pretty remarkable. I've loved stop motion animation ever since I laid eyes on 1933's "King Kong" as well as classic Ray Harryhausen movies like "The 7th Voyage of Sinbad" and "Jason and the Arognauts". I'd even made some stop-motion animated short films when I was a kid. After a young girl (Coraline, not Caroline) and her parents relocate to a new home, she finds a tiny secret door which leads her into a parallel world. In this world are fun, idealized versions of her parents (except for their creepy button eyes) who want her to stay with them, but things are obviously not what they seem and danger soon follows. This movie is unapologetically weird and full of creative invention. It's Selick's best movie (he also made "James and the Giant Peach), the animation is wonderful (as was the 3D presentation in theaters), and it might scare the crap out of little kids. Or not, how should I know, but it does have an unsettling quality about it that I can't quite pin down, which I love. The voice actors do a fine job, especially Teri Hatcher as both of Coraline's mothers, and the great Keith David, as a mysterious black cat who guides Coraline through the "other side". Strange, understated, and satisfying, it's good stuff.
The Hurt Locker
"We got goats, guys. Heads up! Goats!"
Here it is, the Oscar-winningest movie of 2009. And, no, it's not a war movie. As the quote which opens the movie quite clearly implies, this is a movie about addiction. Addiction to war. Or, more specifically, addiction to high tension situations, which wartime (especially the Iraq war, during which this movie is set) provides abundant access to. The addict in question is Sergeant James, played by Jeremy Renner. After the death of their commanding officer, James is assigned leadership of a bomb disposal unit comprised of Sgt. Sanborn (Anthony Mackey) and guilt-ridden Specialist Eldridge (Brian Geraghty). The storyline unfolds in an episodic way, moving from one incident to another. Along the way, the team must learn to deal with James and his seemingly reckless ways, while at the same time James forms a friendship with an Iraqi boy, a friendship that may or may not bring him face to face with his true nature. Nearly every scene in this movie is a small masterpiece of tense filmmaking. Kathryn Bigelow ("Near Dark", "Point Break", "Strange Days") does a masterful job here, utilizing the cinema verite style made popular by "24" and the "Bourne" movies to nice effect (usually this style - often dubbed "shaky cam" - annoys me, but not here). The performances are great all across the board, but the main kudos have to go to the three leads. There are also lots of cameos by more well-known faces, like Ralph Fiennes, Guy Pearce, David Morse, and Evangeline Lilly from "Lost", but they only add to film, not detract from it. Damn fine movie!
Zombieland
"Thank God for rednecks!"
What would one of my Best Of movie lists be without a zombie movie? Incomplete, that's what! Here's one that came as a total surprise when I first saw it. Horror comedies are incredibly hard to get right, but this movie does it just fine. While not as classic as other zombedies such as "Dead Alive" or "Shaun of the Dead", it still ranks pretty dang high. After the inevitible zombie apocalypse, four survivors must band together to, um, survive. And go to an amusement park. Named after their hometowns, there's scaredy cat shut-in Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg of "The Social Network"), zombie killin' good ol' boy Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), and con-artist sisters Wichita and Little Rock (Emma Stone from "Easy A" and Abigail Breslin of "Little Miss Sunshine"). Despite the well done zombie mayhem and the rock and roll style of the film (check out those opening credits!), it's the four main characters on whom the entire story rises or falls. It rises. The interaction between the characters is perfectly played, leading to most of the big laughs, while director Ruben Fleischer's well-timed visual gags provide the rest. It's not all yuks and yucks, however. Choice moments of real, heartfelt drama add just the perfect touches of realism to the proceedings, and then skedaddle in order to make way for more laughs. And, yes, there's a really funny cameo appearance by a famous celebrity. Bill Murray. Spoiler alert. So grab a beer, sit back, and enjoy the ride.
Watchmen
"Funny story. Sounds unbelievable. Probably true."
I still can't believe this movie got made. Based on the legendary (not to mention controversial) graphic novel (in Nerd Voice: "It's not a comic book!") by Alan Lee and Dave Gibbons, "Watchmen" is set in an alternate-reality 1985 where the government has outlawed all superhero activity. With Russia and America on the brink of nuclear war, members of the disbanded superhero team the Watchmen are being murdered one by one and it's up the surviving members to solve the mystery before it's too late. So why do I have a hard time believing this movie exists? Because this movie is for adults, dissecting American culture via superhero myths with surgical precision, wit, and and brutal, brutal honesty. It's a very dark satire. These superheroes are not idealized, they are flawed people with superpowers dealing with some very real problems. Cancer, rape, psychosis, disconnection, impotence. And yet, the movie is technically brilliant, good looking with perfect effects work and brilliant sound, featuring plenty of great music from the 60's, 70's, and 80's. Director Zack Snyder ("300") is obviously good at the sights and sounds and, thanks to the well written source material (it's the first graphic novel to win major literary awards, much to the chagrin of the literary elite), it's got substance and heart. He does a bang-up job of adapting the comic, with the exception of the ending, which was changed a bit. But I don't mind, I kind of like what he did with it. There are three different versions of this movie - the Theatrical version (excellent), the Director's Cut (15 minutes longer and even better) and the Ultimate Cut (Director's Cut plus the integration into the movie of the animated "Tales of the Black Freighter" short film, which is a comic book being read by a character within the movie, and it parallels the movie's plot quite nicely). The Ultimate Cut is a nice idea, making it a more accurate adaptation of the source, but it just doesn't work as well in movie form. I say go for the Director's Cut. But Theatrical is good as well. This movie isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it's worth a look if you love smart satire.
See ya next time! Part 3 awaits. . .
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Valentine's Day Special 2011
Dead Alive (1992)
"They're not dead, exactly, just sort of. . . rotting."
I needed a great love story for this post. My original plan was to review "Never Let Me Go", but that movie is too depressing, so I dumped that idea. I know, I know, supposedly the best love stories are the ones that end in tragedy ("Romeo and Juliet", anyone?). And, don't get me wrong, "Never Let Me Go" is a good movie, and it has a bit of a sci-fi twist, which will always peak my initial interest, but I was just not feeling it this time. It's a "bah-humbug " sort of Valentine's Season here in Shiftytown, and I want something uplifting, romantic, funny, and full of flesheating zombies chowing down on people who have funny accents. Yes, "Shaun of the Dead" was an equally-classic contender in that category, but "Dead Alive" has seniority (almost 20 years old!!!). I also like it a little bit more than "Shaun".
So there.
If you haven't seen this sloppy wet treat do yourself a favor and seek it out right now. Get the Unrated cut - do not even bother with the R-rated version. I repeat, DO NOT bother with R. It's 15 minutes shorter than the "real" cut of the movie, and totally pointless. "R" stands for "Run Far, Far Away And Get The Unrated Cut, You Jive Turkeys".
This movie is a great comedic love story. It's also the goriest movie ever made. I'm not kidding, this movie literally holds the record for using the most amount of (fake) blood and guts in its production. It's original title was "Braindead", but the distributor changed it for us Americans because of another movie called "Braindead" which came out a couple of years earlier. And it's the third film from New Zealand-born director Peter Jackson. Just a couple of years after making "the goriest fright film of all time", he was nominated for a couple of Oscars for his period drama "Heavenly Creatures". He also made a couple of movies called "The Lord of the Rings", or something. Never heard of 'em.
The foreign posters proclaimed this "a love story with guts". I love that line. In America, the tagline was "you'll laugh yourself sick". Both quotes are accurate. Here's a taste. . .
Welcome to New Zealand in the 1950's. Lionel lives at home with his overbearing mother. At the nearby corner grocery store, the lovely Paquita gets a tarot card reading from her grandmother. It seems that Paquita's true love is about to walk into her life - but death and danger follow in his wake. Paquita meets Lionel. It's not long before they're off to the zoo for a first date - with Lionel's snoopy mother in tow. Mum accidentally gets bitten by a Sumatran rat monkey and, over the next few days, begins turning into a braindead flesh-craving zombie with an infectious bite. Soon mum is infecting others with zombie-itis, and it's up to poor Lionel to keep the zombie plague from spreading any further. Obviously, this puts a strain on his budding romance with Paquita.
See, here is where the fantasy element comes in. A 20-something year-old guy living at home with mom? No way, sister. Most women would be out of there posthaste, but not Paquita. She sticks with her man through both that and a zombie apocalypse, and the hardships they endure only serve to strengthen their loving bond. What a woman!
The tone of this movie is perfect. It's a cartoon, no doubt, accentuated by over the top gore effects, loopy camerawork, and silent film-style performances from all actors involved. Despite the fact it takes place in the 50's, it feels like an old fashioned movie, something out of the golden age of Hollywood crossed with a pulpy EC Comics-like storyline. Timothy Balme is great as Lionel, whether bumbling around like Charlie Chaplin, injecting animal tranquilizers into his zombie "prisoners", or discovering his mum's horrifying secrets. Diana Penalver is charming and believable as the Spanish spitfire Paquita. He's a shut-in loner and she's an immigrant. It's believable when these two get together, two outsiders looking for companionship in an unforgiving world.
The love story at the center of this movie is so straightforward and sweet that, when the gore hits the fan and the movie lets loose, it imbues the over-the-top laugh-a-minute mayhem with enough urgency to lift the entire film to a higher level, making it the classic it is today. I cannot even describe this movie. Nor would I want to - there's so much creative invention on display in this movie, it's unbelievable. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprises. Well, maybe a couple! There's an ass-kicking kung fu priest, living muppet-like guts, a giant monster, a Nazi veterinarian, pus in custard, more zombie-killin' tools than you can shake a zombie killin' tool at, and gore, gore, gore, gore, gore, gore galore (courtesy of the great FX maestro Richard Taylor). There's even a zombie romance. Well, hot zombie-on-zombie action, that is. Which results in the birth of a little ravenous baby zombie named Selwyn. In this clip, Lionel decides to take little Selwyn to the park for a fun little outing. Probably a bad idea. . .
Ah, and I can't forget to mention Lionel's lecherous Uncle Les, who does his best to swindle Lionel out of his inheritance when mum "dies". He's a great villain. Then there's the music. Very retro, very "synth", very cheesy, but its melody never fails to get stuck in my head whenever I watch this movie.
I've loved this movie since I saw it as a teenager in the early 90's, and I love it still. It's a non-stop, laugh a minute ride with disgustingly jaw-dropping special effects as well as a sweet, uplifting love story sandwiched within a twisted tale of zombie shenanigans. Maybe the true romance here isn't the one onscreen, maybe it's between me and this movie. . .
Yuck.
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!
Bonus material - For the fans, here's the infamous lawnmower scene as re-enacted by marshmallow Peeps.
"They're not dead, exactly, just sort of. . . rotting."
I needed a great love story for this post. My original plan was to review "Never Let Me Go", but that movie is too depressing, so I dumped that idea. I know, I know, supposedly the best love stories are the ones that end in tragedy ("Romeo and Juliet", anyone?). And, don't get me wrong, "Never Let Me Go" is a good movie, and it has a bit of a sci-fi twist, which will always peak my initial interest, but I was just not feeling it this time. It's a "bah-humbug " sort of Valentine's Season here in Shiftytown, and I want something uplifting, romantic, funny, and full of flesheating zombies chowing down on people who have funny accents. Yes, "Shaun of the Dead" was an equally-classic contender in that category, but "Dead Alive" has seniority (almost 20 years old!!!). I also like it a little bit more than "Shaun".
So there.
If you haven't seen this sloppy wet treat do yourself a favor and seek it out right now. Get the Unrated cut - do not even bother with the R-rated version. I repeat, DO NOT bother with R. It's 15 minutes shorter than the "real" cut of the movie, and totally pointless. "R" stands for "Run Far, Far Away And Get The Unrated Cut, You Jive Turkeys".
This movie is a great comedic love story. It's also the goriest movie ever made. I'm not kidding, this movie literally holds the record for using the most amount of (fake) blood and guts in its production. It's original title was "Braindead", but the distributor changed it for us Americans because of another movie called "Braindead" which came out a couple of years earlier. And it's the third film from New Zealand-born director Peter Jackson. Just a couple of years after making "the goriest fright film of all time", he was nominated for a couple of Oscars for his period drama "Heavenly Creatures". He also made a couple of movies called "The Lord of the Rings", or something. Never heard of 'em.
The foreign posters proclaimed this "a love story with guts". I love that line. In America, the tagline was "you'll laugh yourself sick". Both quotes are accurate. Here's a taste. . .
Welcome to New Zealand in the 1950's. Lionel lives at home with his overbearing mother. At the nearby corner grocery store, the lovely Paquita gets a tarot card reading from her grandmother. It seems that Paquita's true love is about to walk into her life - but death and danger follow in his wake. Paquita meets Lionel. It's not long before they're off to the zoo for a first date - with Lionel's snoopy mother in tow. Mum accidentally gets bitten by a Sumatran rat monkey and, over the next few days, begins turning into a braindead flesh-craving zombie with an infectious bite. Soon mum is infecting others with zombie-itis, and it's up to poor Lionel to keep the zombie plague from spreading any further. Obviously, this puts a strain on his budding romance with Paquita.
See, here is where the fantasy element comes in. A 20-something year-old guy living at home with mom? No way, sister. Most women would be out of there posthaste, but not Paquita. She sticks with her man through both that and a zombie apocalypse, and the hardships they endure only serve to strengthen their loving bond. What a woman!
The tone of this movie is perfect. It's a cartoon, no doubt, accentuated by over the top gore effects, loopy camerawork, and silent film-style performances from all actors involved. Despite the fact it takes place in the 50's, it feels like an old fashioned movie, something out of the golden age of Hollywood crossed with a pulpy EC Comics-like storyline. Timothy Balme is great as Lionel, whether bumbling around like Charlie Chaplin, injecting animal tranquilizers into his zombie "prisoners", or discovering his mum's horrifying secrets. Diana Penalver is charming and believable as the Spanish spitfire Paquita. He's a shut-in loner and she's an immigrant. It's believable when these two get together, two outsiders looking for companionship in an unforgiving world.
The love story at the center of this movie is so straightforward and sweet that, when the gore hits the fan and the movie lets loose, it imbues the over-the-top laugh-a-minute mayhem with enough urgency to lift the entire film to a higher level, making it the classic it is today. I cannot even describe this movie. Nor would I want to - there's so much creative invention on display in this movie, it's unbelievable. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprises. Well, maybe a couple! There's an ass-kicking kung fu priest, living muppet-like guts, a giant monster, a Nazi veterinarian, pus in custard, more zombie-killin' tools than you can shake a zombie killin' tool at, and gore, gore, gore, gore, gore, gore galore (courtesy of the great FX maestro Richard Taylor). There's even a zombie romance. Well, hot zombie-on-zombie action, that is. Which results in the birth of a little ravenous baby zombie named Selwyn. In this clip, Lionel decides to take little Selwyn to the park for a fun little outing. Probably a bad idea. . .
Ah, and I can't forget to mention Lionel's lecherous Uncle Les, who does his best to swindle Lionel out of his inheritance when mum "dies". He's a great villain. Then there's the music. Very retro, very "synth", very cheesy, but its melody never fails to get stuck in my head whenever I watch this movie.
I've loved this movie since I saw it as a teenager in the early 90's, and I love it still. It's a non-stop, laugh a minute ride with disgustingly jaw-dropping special effects as well as a sweet, uplifting love story sandwiched within a twisted tale of zombie shenanigans. Maybe the true romance here isn't the one onscreen, maybe it's between me and this movie. . .
Yuck.
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!
Bonus material - For the fans, here's the infamous lawnmower scene as re-enacted by marshmallow Peeps.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
The Top 25 Movies of 2009, Part 1
What? 2009? That was like. . . . . . .give me a second. . . . . . . two years ago!
Okay, here are my reasons for this outdated review:
1) The Time Factor. Over time and multiple viewings, movies will either lose their luster or just plain get better. Or stay the same. If I had written this in the first months of 2010, the list would no doubt be different. Ten years from now, the list will differ again. So just skip reading all of this and wait until I unveil the Top 25 Movies of 2009 List, coming in February 2021 in hologram form. Basically, these are all movies that still hold up for me after seeing them lots of times.
2) The Pretentious Ass Factor. These are not the BEST movies of 2009. These are my top 25 FAVORITE movies of 2009. I have not seen all of the movies released that year and am not likely to, so I cannot be a fair judge. Plus, I'm not enough of a pretentious ass to declare what is BEST or not.
3) Peer Pressure is Bunk. Everyone else is doing a Top Movie list for 2010. I don't like to do what everyone else is doing. Like writing a blog. Um. . .
4) Lazy. I have not seen all of the movies I want to see that were released in 2010. I will eventually, but not right now. And there are always little surprise movies that you never knew existed, which pop up when you least expect them. I like to give them time to make themselves known to me.
So here's Part 1 of a five part list. Why 25, you ask? It just felt right. I started with 10, but that left out way too many good flicks. 2009 was a great year for movies. Then I went up to 30, but 25 sounded better to me. Don't know why, it just did. So here goes, in no particular order, mind you. . .
Drag Me to Hell
"Did I get any in my mouth?"
Ah, Sam Raimi, a man responsible for many of my favorite movies over the years. Returning to his roots after the disappointing "Spider-Man 3", the legendary creator of the "Evil Dead" trilogy brought crazy "Looney Tunes" horror back to the silver screen with ghoulish gusto. Advertising this as "the return of true horror" may be a bit misleading, because it's not. Raimi's style of horror is more like "Tales From the Crypt" by way of "The Three Stooges". There are a few great jump scares (which owe a lot to the utterly fantastic sound design), but when the movie's heroine drops an anvil on her demonic attacker's head, well, there you have it, obvious really. Alison Lohman is a hapless loan officer cursed by a pissed off gypsy woman (Lorna Raver, in the movie's most entertaining performance) to be tormented by a demon called a Lamia, and after three days she will be DRAGGED TO HELL. Heavily inspired by 1957's "Curse of the Demon", it's got a grandly dark score by Christopher Young, giddy energy, nice gross-out sequences (PG-13 level, but gross nonetheless), and a possessed, trash-talking goat. There are two version of the movie on DVD: unrated and PG-13. Surprisingly, the PG-13 edition (the theatrical version) is better. There's only one scene that's been changed. What was a darkly humerous joke in the theatrical version crosses the line and becomes unfunny in the unrated version, all just to add a little more blood. It's not a big difference, but stick to the theatrical one.
Star Trek
"Is the parking brake on?"
If this list were ranked, "Star Trek" would most likely be #1. I've seen it (and shown it to others) the most times out of all the movies on this list. And you know what, I'm still not tired of it. It's the most watchable movie of 2009. It's something Trekkies and non-Trekkies alike seem to agree on. So how do you make something that will please hardcore "Star Trek" fans and people who've never even seen a minute of the previous 1,000-plus hours of "Trek", and also make something that can satisfy those who absolutely hate the franchise? Easy! Make something that's a sequel, prequel, and remake all wrapped into one. What? How? Why, with Science Fiction! Time travel and an alternate universe! Voila! It's really not as complicated as it sounds. And it works! Then give the director's chair to a talented guy like J.J. Abrams, someone who can bring energy, wit, fun, and a whole new flavor to a series that needs a little jumpstart. Also add a dash of casting brilliance, with a group of actors who honor their predecessors while making the roles completely their own. This movie is funny, action-packed, touching (if your eyes don't mist up during the opening sequence, you may not be human), and full of mythic derring-do. When a villain from the future travels back in time to ensure the safety of his homeworld by killing lots and lots of people, an alternate timeline is created. Now, a group of characters searching for their destinies must unite to stop him. There's an element of whimsy here, with Jim Kirk and the rest of the original starship Enterprise crew coming together as a family despite the fact that the path of the entire universe has changed. It's a romantic notion, and a welcome conceit to a fictional series that means so much to so many and will continue to be meaningful for generations to come. Welcome back, "Star Trek"!
Inglorious Basterds
"Hugo Stiglitz."
Hey, they spelled "bastards" wrong! Nonetheless, writer/director Quentin Tarantino returns with one of his best movies yet. After his criminally neglected "Death Proof", his half of the "Grindhouse" double feature, he's back with another multi-storyline tale of violence and pulpy fiction. Only this time, it's a period piece! Set during World War II (and loosely based on the 1978 film "Inglorious Bastards" starring Bo Svenson), we follow a group of U.S. soldiers sent into France to terrorize Nazis, a young woman with a secret past who's hosting a film screening for Hitler himself, and a British undercover operative sent to infiltrate said screening. In the end, they all come together in explosive fashion. Despite the setting, it's definitely Tarantino-flavored. It's all there: the in-your-face violence, the quirky humor, the nonstop film lover in-jokes, the vintage musical score (who'd have thought to put a David Bowie song in a WWII flick - and it works!), a talented cast of actors, closeups of feet, and sharp dialogue (half of it in languages other than English, this time). Brad Pitt is perfectly cast in what is already an over-the-top role, Melanie Dreyfus (as Shosanna) holds her own with smoldering intensity, but it's Oscar-winner Christoph Waltz (as the "Jew Hunter") who steals the show. He's my favorite villain of 2009, a highly intelligent, pompous, and utterly dangerous weasel of a character who takes over the screen whenever he appears. The only weak link, I think, is Mike Myers. I can't help but think of Austin Powers when he appears here, sporting a British accent and old age makeup. It's just one scene, though. In the end, it's a crazy, history-bending (and breaking) drama, with plenty of tense scenes, visual flair, and the soul of a cinematic rebel. Bonjourno!
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
"My chest hairs are tingling - something's wrong!"
There were a lot of good animated movies in 2009. For purely light, fun-filled entertainment, this is the one to beat. Based on a best-selling children's novel, and brought to you by the folks at Sony Pictures Animation (who made "Monster House", a great Halloween film for kids and kids-at-heart), the story follows young inventor Flint Lockwood as he creates a machine that can transform water into food, which turns his sleepy hometown (the anchovy capital of the world) into a big time metropolis. Then, something goes wrong with the machine. Shenanigans ensue (of course). Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller have created something that could have easily been just another disposable kids film, but is something unpretentious and so wholeheartedly FUN that it makes me smile every time. Yes, there is a moral to this story. But, unlike many other kids movies (ahem, Shrek, ahem) it doesn't beat these morals over your head ad nauseum. Kids are smart. They got your message the first 10 times you said it, guys. The laughs here are nonstop, and there are plenty for all age groups. And the food! Falling from the sky! It's a cool, original idea. Not since "Big Night" has a movie made me this hungry! The animation is well done, with just the right amount of "Looney Tunes" (there they are again) and a color pallette that must be seen to be believed. Pretty lights. . . Mark Mothersbaugh (of Devo) does a great, heroic score, and the voice talent is off the charts. Bill Hader and Anna Faris are excellent as the two leads, but it's the supporting cast who steal the show for me. Bruce Campbell, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Samburg, Mr T, Al Friggin' Roker, Will Forte, Benjamin Bratt (as my second favorite character, Manny the cameraman), and James Caan as Flint's dad (my favorite character). Heart strings are tugged just right, action sequences are actiony, and vicious living gummy bears get their heads ripped off by a talking monkey. What's not to love?
Franklyn
"These days, you can form an entire congregation simply based on washing machine instructions."
What the hell is "Franklyn"? It's a movie that was barely released, is what. It's an ambitious film from British director Gerald McMorrow, part sci-fi, part fairy tale, mostly character-based drama, and pulled off quite amazingly on a very low budget. This one differs from the previous four movies on this list in one major respect - it's the only one so far that wouldn't have appeared on this list a year ago. I love the other four movies as much today as I did when I first saw them. This one I LIKED when I first saw it, not loved. After a few more viewings, however, it's grown on me quite a bit. Actually, if I were to do this list as a ranking, this might even place in the top 5 of 2009. It's a complex, yet simple tale of four people. Jonathan Preest (Ryan Phillippe), a man with no beliefs who lives in Meanwhile City, a place (alternate universe?) where you need to be registered with a religion just to live there. He's looking for someone called the Individual, who killed a young client of his. Emilia (my latest screen crush, Eva Green) is a troubled, suicidal performance artist secretly crying out for help. Milo (Sam Riley) is a young man who's recently collapsed marriage plans lead to the return of a friend from the past. And Peter (Bernard Herman) is a man looking for his lost son. What do I mean by complex, yet simple? The place where the story ends up is very simple and pure, but the route to get there is complex and full of psychological and visual details. I notice something different every time I watch this movie. It's a deceptively simple, effortless directorial debut, visually rich, with nicely done special effects, a beautiful score, well-done performances, and "plot holes", which, when you really think about them, begin to make a scary kind of sense. It took me a while to "get" this one, but I did, and I love it!
See ya later for Part 2!
Okay, here are my reasons for this outdated review:
1) The Time Factor. Over time and multiple viewings, movies will either lose their luster or just plain get better. Or stay the same. If I had written this in the first months of 2010, the list would no doubt be different. Ten years from now, the list will differ again. So just skip reading all of this and wait until I unveil the Top 25 Movies of 2009 List, coming in February 2021 in hologram form. Basically, these are all movies that still hold up for me after seeing them lots of times.
2) The Pretentious Ass Factor. These are not the BEST movies of 2009. These are my top 25 FAVORITE movies of 2009. I have not seen all of the movies released that year and am not likely to, so I cannot be a fair judge. Plus, I'm not enough of a pretentious ass to declare what is BEST or not.
3) Peer Pressure is Bunk. Everyone else is doing a Top Movie list for 2010. I don't like to do what everyone else is doing. Like writing a blog. Um. . .
4) Lazy. I have not seen all of the movies I want to see that were released in 2010. I will eventually, but not right now. And there are always little surprise movies that you never knew existed, which pop up when you least expect them. I like to give them time to make themselves known to me.
So here's Part 1 of a five part list. Why 25, you ask? It just felt right. I started with 10, but that left out way too many good flicks. 2009 was a great year for movies. Then I went up to 30, but 25 sounded better to me. Don't know why, it just did. So here goes, in no particular order, mind you. . .
Drag Me to Hell
"Did I get any in my mouth?"
Ah, Sam Raimi, a man responsible for many of my favorite movies over the years. Returning to his roots after the disappointing "Spider-Man 3", the legendary creator of the "Evil Dead" trilogy brought crazy "Looney Tunes" horror back to the silver screen with ghoulish gusto. Advertising this as "the return of true horror" may be a bit misleading, because it's not. Raimi's style of horror is more like "Tales From the Crypt" by way of "The Three Stooges". There are a few great jump scares (which owe a lot to the utterly fantastic sound design), but when the movie's heroine drops an anvil on her demonic attacker's head, well, there you have it, obvious really. Alison Lohman is a hapless loan officer cursed by a pissed off gypsy woman (Lorna Raver, in the movie's most entertaining performance) to be tormented by a demon called a Lamia, and after three days she will be DRAGGED TO HELL. Heavily inspired by 1957's "Curse of the Demon", it's got a grandly dark score by Christopher Young, giddy energy, nice gross-out sequences (PG-13 level, but gross nonetheless), and a possessed, trash-talking goat. There are two version of the movie on DVD: unrated and PG-13. Surprisingly, the PG-13 edition (the theatrical version) is better. There's only one scene that's been changed. What was a darkly humerous joke in the theatrical version crosses the line and becomes unfunny in the unrated version, all just to add a little more blood. It's not a big difference, but stick to the theatrical one.
Star Trek
"Is the parking brake on?"
If this list were ranked, "Star Trek" would most likely be #1. I've seen it (and shown it to others) the most times out of all the movies on this list. And you know what, I'm still not tired of it. It's the most watchable movie of 2009. It's something Trekkies and non-Trekkies alike seem to agree on. So how do you make something that will please hardcore "Star Trek" fans and people who've never even seen a minute of the previous 1,000-plus hours of "Trek", and also make something that can satisfy those who absolutely hate the franchise? Easy! Make something that's a sequel, prequel, and remake all wrapped into one. What? How? Why, with Science Fiction! Time travel and an alternate universe! Voila! It's really not as complicated as it sounds. And it works! Then give the director's chair to a talented guy like J.J. Abrams, someone who can bring energy, wit, fun, and a whole new flavor to a series that needs a little jumpstart. Also add a dash of casting brilliance, with a group of actors who honor their predecessors while making the roles completely their own. This movie is funny, action-packed, touching (if your eyes don't mist up during the opening sequence, you may not be human), and full of mythic derring-do. When a villain from the future travels back in time to ensure the safety of his homeworld by killing lots and lots of people, an alternate timeline is created. Now, a group of characters searching for their destinies must unite to stop him. There's an element of whimsy here, with Jim Kirk and the rest of the original starship Enterprise crew coming together as a family despite the fact that the path of the entire universe has changed. It's a romantic notion, and a welcome conceit to a fictional series that means so much to so many and will continue to be meaningful for generations to come. Welcome back, "Star Trek"!
Inglorious Basterds
"Hugo Stiglitz."
Hey, they spelled "bastards" wrong! Nonetheless, writer/director Quentin Tarantino returns with one of his best movies yet. After his criminally neglected "Death Proof", his half of the "Grindhouse" double feature, he's back with another multi-storyline tale of violence and pulpy fiction. Only this time, it's a period piece! Set during World War II (and loosely based on the 1978 film "Inglorious Bastards" starring Bo Svenson), we follow a group of U.S. soldiers sent into France to terrorize Nazis, a young woman with a secret past who's hosting a film screening for Hitler himself, and a British undercover operative sent to infiltrate said screening. In the end, they all come together in explosive fashion. Despite the setting, it's definitely Tarantino-flavored. It's all there: the in-your-face violence, the quirky humor, the nonstop film lover in-jokes, the vintage musical score (who'd have thought to put a David Bowie song in a WWII flick - and it works!), a talented cast of actors, closeups of feet, and sharp dialogue (half of it in languages other than English, this time). Brad Pitt is perfectly cast in what is already an over-the-top role, Melanie Dreyfus (as Shosanna) holds her own with smoldering intensity, but it's Oscar-winner Christoph Waltz (as the "Jew Hunter") who steals the show. He's my favorite villain of 2009, a highly intelligent, pompous, and utterly dangerous weasel of a character who takes over the screen whenever he appears. The only weak link, I think, is Mike Myers. I can't help but think of Austin Powers when he appears here, sporting a British accent and old age makeup. It's just one scene, though. In the end, it's a crazy, history-bending (and breaking) drama, with plenty of tense scenes, visual flair, and the soul of a cinematic rebel. Bonjourno!
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
"My chest hairs are tingling - something's wrong!"
There were a lot of good animated movies in 2009. For purely light, fun-filled entertainment, this is the one to beat. Based on a best-selling children's novel, and brought to you by the folks at Sony Pictures Animation (who made "Monster House", a great Halloween film for kids and kids-at-heart), the story follows young inventor Flint Lockwood as he creates a machine that can transform water into food, which turns his sleepy hometown (the anchovy capital of the world) into a big time metropolis. Then, something goes wrong with the machine. Shenanigans ensue (of course). Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller have created something that could have easily been just another disposable kids film, but is something unpretentious and so wholeheartedly FUN that it makes me smile every time. Yes, there is a moral to this story. But, unlike many other kids movies (ahem, Shrek, ahem) it doesn't beat these morals over your head ad nauseum. Kids are smart. They got your message the first 10 times you said it, guys. The laughs here are nonstop, and there are plenty for all age groups. And the food! Falling from the sky! It's a cool, original idea. Not since "Big Night" has a movie made me this hungry! The animation is well done, with just the right amount of "Looney Tunes" (there they are again) and a color pallette that must be seen to be believed. Pretty lights. . . Mark Mothersbaugh (of Devo) does a great, heroic score, and the voice talent is off the charts. Bill Hader and Anna Faris are excellent as the two leads, but it's the supporting cast who steal the show for me. Bruce Campbell, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Samburg, Mr T, Al Friggin' Roker, Will Forte, Benjamin Bratt (as my second favorite character, Manny the cameraman), and James Caan as Flint's dad (my favorite character). Heart strings are tugged just right, action sequences are actiony, and vicious living gummy bears get their heads ripped off by a talking monkey. What's not to love?
Franklyn
"These days, you can form an entire congregation simply based on washing machine instructions."
What the hell is "Franklyn"? It's a movie that was barely released, is what. It's an ambitious film from British director Gerald McMorrow, part sci-fi, part fairy tale, mostly character-based drama, and pulled off quite amazingly on a very low budget. This one differs from the previous four movies on this list in one major respect - it's the only one so far that wouldn't have appeared on this list a year ago. I love the other four movies as much today as I did when I first saw them. This one I LIKED when I first saw it, not loved. After a few more viewings, however, it's grown on me quite a bit. Actually, if I were to do this list as a ranking, this might even place in the top 5 of 2009. It's a complex, yet simple tale of four people. Jonathan Preest (Ryan Phillippe), a man with no beliefs who lives in Meanwhile City, a place (alternate universe?) where you need to be registered with a religion just to live there. He's looking for someone called the Individual, who killed a young client of his. Emilia (my latest screen crush, Eva Green) is a troubled, suicidal performance artist secretly crying out for help. Milo (Sam Riley) is a young man who's recently collapsed marriage plans lead to the return of a friend from the past. And Peter (Bernard Herman) is a man looking for his lost son. What do I mean by complex, yet simple? The place where the story ends up is very simple and pure, but the route to get there is complex and full of psychological and visual details. I notice something different every time I watch this movie. It's a deceptively simple, effortless directorial debut, visually rich, with nicely done special effects, a beautiful score, well-done performances, and "plot holes", which, when you really think about them, begin to make a scary kind of sense. It took me a while to "get" this one, but I did, and I love it!
See ya later for Part 2!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Shaolin Mantis (1978)
"You can be a eunuch."
Wei Feng is down on his luck. His young wife was just murdered, his mission to infiltrate and expose a family of rebels has failed miserably, his real family back home is going to be executed, and he just got his ass kicked by an old guy. What's a shifty Chinese bastard to do? Beat up some tall weeds in furious anger? Done. Weeds pummeled. But what about after that? Who will raise our hero from the depths of despair and into the glowy light of shiny redemption?
A bug. A praying mantis, to be exact. Three inches long, green, kinda funny looking. It teaches him mantis-style kung fu, of course (which is a real style). Of all the cliches in kung fu cinema, this one may be my favorite. The "hero learns a can't-lose fighting technique from an animal" cliche. In "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow", Jackie Chan learns "kitty-style" kung fu from an alley cat. He then proceeds to whomp the main villain in battle, accompanied by cat growls whenever he leaps into the air. That one may be my favorite example of this cliche, but "Shaolin Mantis" is a close runner-up.
So what is this movie about? Wei Feng is a young scholar and martial arts master. The Emperor of China (check out those gold threads) sends our hero to investigate the Tian family, who are suspected of being rebels against the state. Wei Feng becomes the tutor of Zhi Zhi, mischevious granddaughter of the head of the Tian family, the aforementioned old guy from the first paragraph. Old guy knows shadow style kung fu, which is, needless to say, Bad Ass. Old guy doesn't trust the new tutor one damn bit. He threatens to have him killed, but Zhi Zhi breaks down and exclaims that her and Wei Feng are engaged. Next scene, they get married. Whether or not they are getting married out of love or as a desperate attempt to keep Wei Feng alive is left up to the viewer. Motivation and plot clarity were never the strong suits of classic Shaw Brothers kung fu flicks, but hey. . .
For the first 50 minutes or so, the movie is rather deliberately paced. There's some action here and there, including one fight near the beginning between star David Chiang and the legendary Gordon Liu ("36th Chamber of Shaolin", "Kill Bill"), cameoing as a monk, but nothing too spectacular. Thankfully, stars David Chiang (Wei Feng) and Lily Li (Zhi Zhi) are quite charismatic and engaging, the production design is top notch, and the plot is goofy enough to sustain this shifty bastard's interest throughout the first half.
But, hot damn, when the last 50 minutes kick in, it's one great fight after another, ending in a fantastic final dust up between Wei Feng and the old man. Ah, sweet kung fuey goodness! The camerawork is also well done, following the action precisely and accentuating it with just the right movements. And if you want to play the "Shaolin Mantis" drinking game, take a sip every time the camera zooms in or out. You will be probably be dead drunk within 15 minutes.
Then there's the ending. Ye gods! When I first saw this ending many years ago, it was the very definition of a WTF moment. Sudden plot switcheroos and a frustrating freeze frame ending left me gobsmacked. However, when I reunited with this movie recently, well - it still left me a bit gobsmacked, but it felt "right" to me. Ah, the passage of time. . .
All in all, one of my favorite classic kung fu flicks. Director Chia-Liang Liu ("36th Chamber of Shaolin", among many others) did a great job with this one. While the fight scenes are the highlight of this one, the goofier aspects of the plot also provide plenty of entertainment for fans of crazy cinema. It's a good time.
Here's a trailer with French subtitles, just to make it a little more surreal -
Wei Feng is down on his luck. His young wife was just murdered, his mission to infiltrate and expose a family of rebels has failed miserably, his real family back home is going to be executed, and he just got his ass kicked by an old guy. What's a shifty Chinese bastard to do? Beat up some tall weeds in furious anger? Done. Weeds pummeled. But what about after that? Who will raise our hero from the depths of despair and into the glowy light of shiny redemption?
A bug. A praying mantis, to be exact. Three inches long, green, kinda funny looking. It teaches him mantis-style kung fu, of course (which is a real style). Of all the cliches in kung fu cinema, this one may be my favorite. The "hero learns a can't-lose fighting technique from an animal" cliche. In "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow", Jackie Chan learns "kitty-style" kung fu from an alley cat. He then proceeds to whomp the main villain in battle, accompanied by cat growls whenever he leaps into the air. That one may be my favorite example of this cliche, but "Shaolin Mantis" is a close runner-up.
So what is this movie about? Wei Feng is a young scholar and martial arts master. The Emperor of China (check out those gold threads) sends our hero to investigate the Tian family, who are suspected of being rebels against the state. Wei Feng becomes the tutor of Zhi Zhi, mischevious granddaughter of the head of the Tian family, the aforementioned old guy from the first paragraph. Old guy knows shadow style kung fu, which is, needless to say, Bad Ass. Old guy doesn't trust the new tutor one damn bit. He threatens to have him killed, but Zhi Zhi breaks down and exclaims that her and Wei Feng are engaged. Next scene, they get married. Whether or not they are getting married out of love or as a desperate attempt to keep Wei Feng alive is left up to the viewer. Motivation and plot clarity were never the strong suits of classic Shaw Brothers kung fu flicks, but hey. . .
For the first 50 minutes or so, the movie is rather deliberately paced. There's some action here and there, including one fight near the beginning between star David Chiang and the legendary Gordon Liu ("36th Chamber of Shaolin", "Kill Bill"), cameoing as a monk, but nothing too spectacular. Thankfully, stars David Chiang (Wei Feng) and Lily Li (Zhi Zhi) are quite charismatic and engaging, the production design is top notch, and the plot is goofy enough to sustain this shifty bastard's interest throughout the first half.
But, hot damn, when the last 50 minutes kick in, it's one great fight after another, ending in a fantastic final dust up between Wei Feng and the old man. Ah, sweet kung fuey goodness! The camerawork is also well done, following the action precisely and accentuating it with just the right movements. And if you want to play the "Shaolin Mantis" drinking game, take a sip every time the camera zooms in or out. You will be probably be dead drunk within 15 minutes.
Then there's the ending. Ye gods! When I first saw this ending many years ago, it was the very definition of a WTF moment. Sudden plot switcheroos and a frustrating freeze frame ending left me gobsmacked. However, when I reunited with this movie recently, well - it still left me a bit gobsmacked, but it felt "right" to me. Ah, the passage of time. . .
All in all, one of my favorite classic kung fu flicks. Director Chia-Liang Liu ("36th Chamber of Shaolin", among many others) did a great job with this one. While the fight scenes are the highlight of this one, the goofier aspects of the plot also provide plenty of entertainment for fans of crazy cinema. It's a good time.
Here's a trailer with French subtitles, just to make it a little more surreal -
Welcome Fellow Bastards
I was originally going to call this "Shifty Bastard's CineBlog", but it sounded far too close to "Cinnabun". It was making me hungry. My real name is Ryan Holthaus (pause for applause). I figured I needed a hobby and so, apparently, did a few of my friends. So here I am, writing movie blog # 1,234,596,014. I'll be writing about movies (duh) both new and old, whatever pops into my bastard brain. I have plenty of stuff in the works so, without further adieu, I'll kick off with an old favorite of mine I recently rediscovered. . .
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