I still can't get over that new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. It continues to piss me off, and I saw it over 11 days ago. Funnily enough, when I was sitting in the theater watching the movie, I wasn't pissed off at all, just bored. I found my thoughts constantly drifting away from the action onscreen and onto other topics, such as: Did I remember to close the windows at home before I left? Do I need to buy some more Pop Tarts? What the hell was the deal with that island on "Lost"?
As soon as I left the theater, the movie completely dropped from my mind. Forgotten in a flash. It was only after I sat down to write about it in my blog, after I had to apply real thought and analyze the film - that's when the grumbling began. Like I said before, the filmmakers didn't even try. I think this movie has a condition that I've heard referred to as "Pretty Girl's Syndrome" - it just lies there, looking pretty, and that should be enough for us stupid, slack jawed moviegoers, right? Grrr. Aargh.
Where was I? Oh yes, that Panda thing and the funny drunks. Two more movies on the Summer Movie Checklist. Neither of them pissed me off. In fact, I felt they were both enjoyable. So now I will force them to FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!
"Kung Fu Panda" (2008) was a highly enjoyable animated movie. Lots of fun. It's probably my favorite movie to come from the DreamWorks Animated division (which also includes "Shrek", "Madagascar", "Monsters vs. Aliens", etc), right up there with the equally good "Bee Movie" and "How to Train Your Dragon".
"The Hangover" (2009) was on my Top 25 Movies of 2009 list. So, yeah, I thought it was really good.
Now comes these two sequels, both taking very different approaches to following up their predecessors.
"Kung Fu Panda 2" follows our hero Po (Jack Black), the Dragon Master, as he and his team (the Furious Five) face off against the evil usurper Shen (an evil peacock voiced by Gary Oldman), who intends to conquer the world using a deadly new weapon called 'gunpowder'! In the process, Po uncovers his tragic past and must find inner peace in order to defeat this new foe.
It comes thisclose to being as good as the first movie. The only thing it lacks is that certain freshness you get from seeing Part Ones, but it builds on the elements that made the original great while still being faithful to the stuff everyone liked about the first one. And it's not as breezy as the first one. In fact, it gets downright emotional, which surprised me. There's a "Bambi" moment in this movie that got me real good. In addition to the stuff that yanks at your heart strings, there are still plenty of laugh-out-loud moments and gobs of great kung fu/action setpieces that put many live action movies to shame. The design and animation is also quite strikingly beautiful throughout the film, very fluid and dynamic, with plenty of in-jokes and homages to classic kung fu flicks and Japanese anime. And the 3-D is excellent, by far the best use of the gimmick, I mean (ahem) format so far this year. In all, it makes up nicely for the disappointment of last weekend.
This is still the role most well suited for Jack Black, a perfect fit. Angelina Jolie (as Tigress) gets more stuff to do this time, but Dustin Hoffman (as Shifu, my personal favorite character) gets downgraded a little. The rest of the Furious Five (David Cross, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogen, Jackie Chan) still get shafted a bit, but at least they get to have their "hero" moments. Legendary actor James Hong (as Po's goose dad, Mr. Ping) gets to really shine this time out, helping to tug at those heart strings I mentioned earlier. Gary Oldman makes a fine villain (as usual), and new additions like Danny McBride and Michelle Yeoh voice too-underwritten characters, but they do alright with what they've got. And Jean-Claude Van Damme lends his voice as Master Croc - good thing they didn't name his character Master Gator! Just think of it - Jackie Chan and Van Damme together at last! Well, alright, they don't actually have any scenes together, but, hey. . .
And, like "Pirates" and "Thor" and "Priest" and "Fast Five", there is a surprise twist ending that sets everything up for another sequel. I'm all for it, if they can make it as good as Part 2.
Now for "The Hangover Part 2". This will be a short review. Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), Alan (Zach Galifianakis), and Doug (Justin Bartha) travel to Thailand to attend Stu's wedding (his new bride is Thai). What seems like a simple night of drinking beer on the beach turns into a nightmare when three of the four guys wake up in a seedy hotel in Bangkok. Now they need to find Stu's missing brother-in-law Teddy (Mason Lee) and get to the wedding on time. Shenanigans ensue.
It copies the original movie plot point for plot point, echoing every major event that happened in the original film. Stu wakes up with a physical deformity. Stu sings a funny song. They have to contend with a stolen animal, this time a monkey. They have to lug around a helpless old guy (replacing the baby). They must ultimately get involved in criminal dealings, this time with a guy named Kingsley (Paul Giamatti). Mr. Chow, the original "criminal element", returns for a little while to annoy the boys. And so on. And so on.
One of the main reasons the first movie was so good was because of the "unpredictability" factor. Crazy, off-the-wall stuff happened constantly, adding to the fun and mayhem. You'd think that a franchise built on unpredictability would have a sequel that wasn't so slavish to the plot of the original. As a result, it just feels like a slightly faded photocopy. More jokes fall flat this time. And the big mystery (where's Teddy?), well, I figured it out quite early on, and I'm not the smartest Bastard in the room. It's just plain not as good.
Having said all that, however, I must admit that I laughed. Quite a lot. It's ruder and cruder than the original, relying a bit more on the "gross-out factor", but there were still plenty of character-based chuckles (most of them from Galifianakis, of course - Fanta, in a bag!). And there's a surprisingly good car chase sequence, as well. Final analysis: the movie's okay. Not great, not good, okay.
Hmmm. Not such a short review after all.
So, in the battle of the "Part 2's", who comes out the victor? "Kung Fu Panda" takes down "Hangover 2" with the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique! It's better in every single way. Heck, it's even funnier!
FATALITY!!
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