The Top 25 Movies of 2009: The Epilogue

Get back here, 2009!  I'm not finished with you yet. . .

So I decided to write up a "where are they now" kind of follow-up list, capped off with my pick for the Worst Movie of 2009.  You know, just cuz.  Here we go -


Drag Me to Hell

There will be a direct-to-video "Drag Me to Hell Part 2".  There is no official word of this, I just have this funny feeling.  Director Sam Raimi has moved on. . . to OZ.  He's making "Oz, the Great and Powerful", a reboot of the classic series, featuring the Wizard of Oz as the central character.  James Franco will star as the man behind the curtain.


Star Trek

"Star Trek 2" is on the way for summer, 2012.  Meanwhile, director J.J. Abrams has made "Super 8" for the summer of 2011.  I'm looking forward to seeing this.  Quite a lot!  God Bless the movies of the '80s. . .

Inglorious Basterds

What the hell is Quentin Tarantino doing now?  Unknown, but the word on the street strongly suggests that his next movie will be a Western.  Cool.


Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

While Sony Pictures Animation has released animated films of dubious quality, post-"Meatballs", the filmmakers Phil Lord and Chris Miller have gone over to the world of live-action with "Bob, the Musical", about a man with brain damage who thinks his life has turned into a grand movie musical.  These guys also might have something to do with the upcoming big screen update of "21 Jump Street", with Johnny Depp returning to the role that made him famous.


Franklyn

Where have you gone, Gerald McMorrow?  Don't be sad.  Just because your movie was unfairly dumped by an uncaring studio doesn't mean it wasn't awesome!


Red Cliff

John Woo has been hinting at retirement lately.  Recently, he co-directed the okay movie "Reign of Assassins".  Or, more accurately, he was called upon by the producers to save the movie from the missteps of the previous director.  In other words, a clean up job.


Coraline

Director Henry Selick is currently working with Pixar Studios, supposedly on a new stop-motion animation project.


The Hurt Locker

What do you do if you win lots of Oscars?  If you're Kathryn Bigelow, you make "Triple Frontier", an action movie set in South America starring Johnny Depp and Tom Hanks.


Zombieland

"Zombieland 2" will arrive in 2012.  And in 3-D.  Until then, Ruben Fleischer made another movie - "30 Minutes or Less", due this August.

Watchmen

There will be no sequel (it's a self contained story, duh), so Zack Snyder went on to make the disappointing "Sucker Punch" (see review).  He may redeem himself next summer, though.  He's making "Superman: The Man of Steel", an all-new reboot of the legendary character for 2012.  So far, everything I've heard about this new one sounds great!  Fingers crossed. . .


The Hangover

Todd Phillips and the boys have gone back to the well.

Hmmm.  We'll see.


Avatar

James Cameron will be bringing us "Avatar 2", followed by "Avatar 4".  Wait, that's wrong.  Let me see. . .
divide by 2. . . carry the 1. . .

I mean "Avatar 3".  It's a trilogy.  Or, it will be.  He's also working on a live-action adaptation of the Japanese anime series "Battle Angel Alita".


A Serious Man

The Coen Brothers made "True Grit" after this.  Stay tuned for my upcoming Top 25 Movies of 2010 list.  Now they are working on a remake of "Gambit", which may be on my Top 25 Movies of 2012 list.


Up

Pixar goes on.  "Toy Story 3" kicked ass in 2010.  "Cars 2" hits this summer (eh).  Of the two directors of "Up", only Pete Docter seems to be working (where are you, Bob Peterson?).  Docter is directing "Monsters University", the prequel to "Monsters, Inc", which he also directed.

District 9

Neill Blomkamp is hard at work on a giant sci-fi movie called "Elysium", starring Matt Damon and Jodie Foster.  Coming 2012.  Yippee!  And, yes, there may be a "District 9 Part 2".  No confirmation, yet.


Ponyo

Hayao Miyazaki is making a sequel to his 1992 film "Porco Rosso", about a pig who flies around in a biplane.  Trust me, it's cute.


Moon

Director Duncan Jones (interesting slice of tidbittery - he's the son of David Bowie) made "Source Code", now playing.  Short review - It's my second favorite movie of 2011 (at the moment), second only to "13 Assassins".  Jake Gyllenhaal does a bang-up job in the lead role, the story is endlessly thought provoking and full of twists and tension, and it's actually quite an emotionally moving experience.  Exceptional science fiction.  Whatever Mr. Jones decides to make next, I will see it.

And, for sharp-eyed viewers, there is evidence in this movie that it takes place in the same fictional future as "Moon".  Neat.


Thirst

No sequel here, but filmmaker Chan-wook Park is working on a dark mystery/drama called "Stoker".  No relation to Bram.


Taken

"Taken 2" arrives in 2012, with Liam Neeson returning.  Maybe they will call it "Taken Again" or "Taken As Well" or "Taken Too".  I vote for "Tooked".  Olivier Megaton directs (great last name for an action movie director).  The director of the original, Pierre Morel, went on to deliver John Travolta's "From Paris With Love" (s'alright) and was developing a new big screen version of Frank Herbert's "Dune", but that fell through.


Where the Wild Things Are

No sequel here.  And Spike Jonze has been on a spree, making lots of short films.


The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Minnesotan Terry Gilliam has trouble getting people to finance his films.  So what does he do?  He makes an opera!  "The Damnation of Faust" opens soon.  Probably only in New York.  Looks great.


Outlander

Howard McCain - Have you seen this man?  He made a cool movie that was pirated endlessly and barely released in theaters.  Didn't help that it was a fairly large budgeted movie.  Come back, Howie!


Paranormal Activity

The first sequel to this movie will probably appear on my Top 25 Movies of 2010 list.  Don't know about Part 3, yet.  Will find out soon.  In the meantime, Oren Peli (director of the original P.A.) has made "Area 51", the story of an alien breakout in the secret Nevada airbase, told through the lenses of the airbase security cameras.  Interesting, if a little played out by now.


Crank: High Voltage

Rumors of a "Crank 3" continue to circulate, but nothing concrete yet.  Directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor have shimmied on to "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance", once again starring Nicolas Cage.  If it wasn't for their involvement, I wouldn't be very interested in this sequel. Due in 2012.


Fantastic Mr. Fox

Wes Anderson is filming something called "Moonrise Kingdom".  It's a comedic thriller starring Bruce Willis and Edward Norton.  I'm there.


And now, my pick for The Worst Movie of 2009 -

After Last Season

Mind boggling.  And not in a good way.  I enjoy watching a "good" bad movie, but this one is just too pretentious and dull to qualify.  And I can't believe it was actually released in theaters.  Hell, it had a wider release than a couple of my picks for the Top 25 Movies of 2009!  It's a sci-fi tale about a couple of medical students who participate in an experiment - they have their brains hooked up to a machine which transforms their thoughts into virtual reality.  And there are murders going on in the city, and. . . screw it, I still don't care.  Those of you hoping for a "Troll 2" style fun fest will be sorely burned.  At least I didn't see it at the movies.  I saw it at home.  By myself.  With my cat.  Sigh.  Dookie Alert. . .

One exchange of dialogue has always haunted me, and I still see it quoted here and there on the 'net:

"So, picture a flat surface.  Out of the surface, one letter rises."

"From the alphabet?"

"Yes".

Folks, this movie is deadly serious.  It's not meant to be a joke at all!  No winking, no nudging!  THIS MOVIE MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!!!

(undecipherable gibberish)